For Ryan....

The monstrocities I see online almost make me wanna be a recluse. lol So in order to bring Ryan MORE into the dark side (With cookies of course!) I'm posting the little gems I'm found in my online travels.

First is the completely SCARY christian scientist show. lol Be afraid

Next is this.....so if you ever hear me going WAAAAAAAA? you'll now know why

My name is John Daker........

I SO want this guy to be my preacher.....

Ok...now remember when I was telling you about Sondra Prill? WITNESS THE MAGIC!

Please enjoy... and don't hit me. lol

Anyone else.....

Wanna see Jack Black and Jack White either go on tour together or be in a movie together? I sweer I'd love to make a movie called Black and White (yeah...based on the video game...kinda sorta) It'd be an odd concept for a video based movie but I just want an excuse to put these two guys in a movie together. And Jack Black could be god and Jack White would be the devil.

This is Genuis!

Perhaps i've had too much caffine?

Da Winki, Blinky and Nod.

Yes....I admit it....I gave in....I went to go see the Da Vinci Code today.

I've read the book, been studying the theory since I was 13 and drooled over the trailer since the day I saw it.

Was it good. Did it live up to the hype? Hell yeah....well I mean..if you like NBC mystery movie.

I was amazed the people that thought this was going to be a religious, eye-opening experiance. They were expecting "The Passion of the Christ" and instead wound up with Philip Marlow does religion. There-in lies my whole problem with people and this book. It is not a religious book. Everyone tends to forget that the main point of this book, at it's center, is a murder that needs to be solved. It's not an epic, it's a freakin murder mystery fiction. Dan Brown just happened to have picked a framing device (innocently, I think) that struck a chord with people and caused a sensation. All of a sudden people have become experts in something they know nothing about and it irks me to no end. Just becaue you've read the book does not make you a scholar on the theory, especially if you haven't done other research.

No...people forgot that this book is a work of fiction and that the actual theory is mearly a plot line for the whodunit.

I ADORED the movie. I thought it was fantastic. Beautiful filming with haunting music and a downright honest "edge of your seat" murder mystery suspense feel to it. Was it perfect? Not really, no movie is really perfect, but it got it's message across. I actually found humor in the fact that Ron Howard added scenes that "apologized". Actually it wasn't so much apologizing it was more like Ron Howard was letting people know "Um...Helloooo....work of fiction here....faith is based on what you believe it to be. No one religion is perfect.....SO BACK OFF!"

I think everyone should go see it with the mindset that it's a really cool, old-school detective murder mystery. And nothing else. Is it a movie about faith? Sure. But it's about the characters themselves and how each of them deal with faith based on what they learn. If anything religious is taken from the movie hopefully it's a peaked interest in the Magdelene theory just like I had when I was 13 and played Gabriel Knight. Then...and ONLY then can you make up your own mind, just please don't rely on a movie or a book to do it for you.

Look at it...love it....puke all over it...

Yes....you see it right... I came across this gem in a cookbook I aquired a week ago. I don't think that i have ever actually seen something that made me regurgitate in my mouth...that I'm actually not eating.

Yes this picture may seem innocently disgusting enough, I mean it's like an explotion of the contents found in someone's stomach. It's the actual descriptions that truly make this horror in Technicolor.

Let me start with the description found behind the picture on the next page, which by the way gets the recipie ttle wrong. The actual recipe is "Scampi Salad in Melon" but teh description of the recipe retitles it Crab Meat saladin Melon. Keep in mind that there is NO crb meat found in here although as you will see there is a disgusting little surprise. Something that REALLY doesn't beloing. At all. No really. ok ok..here' is a description...

"Select the prettiest melons you can find, for this dish is to be the crown jewel of you cold buffet (If this was the corwn jewel I'd hate to see Queen Elizabeth wearing this at the next royal party). It is best the choose honeydew melons or cantaloupe (Reguardless of the fact that they used a watermelon), with their golden colored flesh. But you can also use a watermelon (Dammit now that you've already told me it's best to use honeydew!), whose bright red flesh has a neutral flavour and goes well with all marinades and types of mayonaise dressing (Yes cause I always think of mixing melons of any kind with mayo). For the stuffing, take tinned fruits cut into large cubes, scampi, shrimp or lobster meat (but no crab meat mind you considering this is called a CRAB meat salad in melon), mushrooms, candied sliced walnuts and red cherries for a touch of colour (That will wonderfully match the vomit on the walls after you smell this stuff). Stripes of scaled green and red pepper and of sweet gherkin are also fine additions (Essentially....throw shit on top of this thing, no one will know the difference) If the stuffed melon is to be used as dessert, leave out all the salty and fish ingrediants (isn't that everything but the peppers? Ewww); mix the others with maraschino liquer (this way your guests will be so drunk they wont know what the hell they're eating), as with other fruit salads, and serve with orange cream (Which goes PERFECT with melon).

If you've still got the brass balls to make this you can turn to page 412 (Which is like NO WHERE near the picture) and get the recipe for this delectible dish. After about it takes you an hour to realize where exactly the recipe is on the page considering there is "Scampi Salad in Melon" and "Crab Meat Cocktail" both on the page. LOL Methinks the editor wasn't paying attention that day....or he actually had eaten this after taking the picture as was close to dying. I vote the latter. So you get a comfy chair and settle in and start reading the ingrediants in this. Let me list them for you and tell me when you get to something that's WRONG.

1 or 2 honeydew melons
1 cup pineapple bits
2 peeled, sliced apples
1 peeled, cubed orange (How do you cube an orange?)
1 peeled, sliced lemon
1 cup scampi
1 green pepper
1/2 cup mushroom heads
1/2 cup maraschino cherries
1 cup sugar
1 tbsp water
juice of 1 lemon
juice of 1 ornage
2 tbsp of marachino liqueur
1 tbsp ginger juice (Now...you may think it's this but it is not...although this is pretty damn wierd)
1 tbsp crushed peppermint leaves
1/2 cup candied black walnuts
ok...wait for it.......
ready.......
1 cup ox tongue

ok...now I beg of you....look at this picture...study it...love it...ok well maybe don't love (Mostly because it looked like someone loved all over it already) it but you get the idea....

I see no ox tongue...or anything that remotely LOOKS like ox tongue...and this frightens me becuase I also cannot find any mention of ox tongue anywhere in the recipe......

Personally i think they wanted to see some overly valium-ed housewife put a whole ox-tongue in this melon. Preferably sticking straight up. Some sort of sick twisted joke that no one ever caught.

And people wonder why I love the 50's

Like.......that's hot

It's funny... I always knew deep down inside that to get what you wanted in life you had to be attractive. I guess I had just always hoped that people weren't as shallow as that. I'm starting to learn that I give too many people credit.

Life is lived the easy way if you're pretty to look at.

If you don't believe me just listen to any of the conversations that take place within the music department. I never minded being in a men's club there. Hell I'm one of the only girls that actually work in music. Jeff must have had enough faith in me to hold my own. But the more I work with men the more I come to realize that a girl who is smart and has a personality are fucked. Or not fucked as the case may be. Some people in the store get special tretment and whatever they want just because most of the men think they're hot. Not to mention that I've been repeatedly told that they don't like women who are smarter than them.

ok...so let me get this straight.....smart women....oops nope sorry cause having intelligent conversations are a no-no. Give me a dumb ditzy girl...casue they're just cute. And if your pretty holy shit the pathway is open to you my friends.

So people are just as shallow as I always thought them to be, I was just naive enough to hope for better than that. Should I let it bother me? Not really but deep down inside it does bother me quite a bit.

I'm not an idiot....I know that i'm not exactly attractive or nice to look at. At least not by traditional standards. I've never gotten special attention or praise for my looks, usually the opposide is the case. Things have never come easily to me. I don't get spcial attention just because some guy thought I was pretty. Does that make me vain? Perhaps, but sometimes it's nice to feel like you're found attractive by more than just one person. Maybe that makes me super vain.

Maybe I ask for too much.

It's funny. I was looking back on the people that I looked up to as a kid and I realized something. Madeline Khan, Gilda Radner and Vincent Price were self-depricating and I follow this path. I think it's becuase it's like something Gilda said. You make fun of yourself before others have a chance to make fun of you. It can't hurt you if you say it about yourself first....

Or maybe it hurts you more....

Dear Barnes and Noble customers...

Dear valued Barnes and Noble customer,

I would like to bring to your attention some new rule changes that will be occuring in our store in the next couple of days.....Please be sure to follow them accordingly.

Rule #1: When asked for a Barnes and Noble membership card please do not reply "yes" and then stare blankly for 10 minutes. We are not mindreaders, unless you tell us we are not sure if you actually have the card on you or just need to give us your phone number. If you refuse to do this we will be forced to have a staring contest.

Rule #2: We need to push a few buttons before we can happily search for the Barnes and Noble card by your phone number. Please do not drop your merchandise and blurt out your phone number. If this is done we cannot be responsible for the amount of times you are asked to repeat said number.

Rule #3: When one of our cashiers say "I can help the next person down here" please do not drop your books at the register of your choice and stare blankly. Our cashiers are not Jedi masters and do not have the force within them. We cannot mentally move your books nor can we switch registers just because you can't move your fat ass down one register.

Rule #4: Our music sellers will be able to assist you with any music questions that you may have in our music department but they unfortuantely cannot help you on the book floor and vice versa. No amount of stomping of your feet and whining may change that, it may just make your inevitable beating much worse. We cannot be responsible for the questions asked in cafe for we have a strict "don't ask don't tell" about their violent tendancies.

Rule #5: We cannot make merchadise magically appear simply because you decided to wait till the last hour to write your school paper. We would be happy to pull it out of your ass though, if you would be patient with us.

Rule #6: Please do not throw money down on our counter. Our cashiers have palms made especially for holding onto money and no cooties will be exchanged during your purchase. If in fact you do throw money on the counter you will no be able to complain as the change comes whizzing past your head in an Odd Job manner. It is only fair.

Rule #7: Merchadise actually needs to be rung up before your credit card can be swiped. Throwing books into our hands does not magically ring it up for we do not have scanners built into our palms. Also....the store is not magically dissapearing, an itchy trigger finger will get you out of the store no faster than usual. In fact be prepared to wait longer as our cashiers are trainer to take twice as long the more impatient you get.

Rule #8: When paying please do not reach over and grab the recipt off of our registers. our registers have spring-loaded bear traps that are designed to chop your hands off. Please leave it to the professionals.

Rule #9: Teenagers, your mothers may be your maids but we are not. Please do not enter our store 5 minutes before closing and proceed to take every cd and/or book out of it's bay and leave them around. We are now allowed to cut off both hands and shove them into your mouth for the first offense. We plan on not seeing second offenders.

Rule #10: Mother, this store is not your own personal babysitter. Please do not leave your child to wander unattented just so you may get your double mocha coffe with skim (I said skim not whole you stupid people) milk in a venti cup while you talk on your cell phone. We don't care if your child get abducted, you deserve it.

Rule #11: Our store closes at 11 pm. Monday-Saturday. This does not mean 11:10, 11:20 and not even 11:01. Please come into the store at a resonable time and have curtesy for our workers. From now on at proptly 11:01 we turn a blind eye on the consequestes on your thinking you are the mosty important person in the world and we are your servants. We do not take the blame on what is done to your person after our doors officially close.

There are a few new rules for our Cafe as well....

Rule #1: This is not your living room. Please do not act surprised when you are robbed becuase you've left your purse open an unattended for the past 5 hours. We don't give a shit

Rule #2: At no time will you EVER throw anything at the cafe workers. you are the not the center of the universe and our workers are allowed to retaliate and throw things back. Be warned they will be sharp....very sharp

Rule #3: Please refrain from being on your cell phone while in line in our cafe. If you are you will be forced to go back to the end of the line and ignored for the length of your phone call.

Rule #4: Please do not complain that we cannot make what you want. We use machines to make your beverages and sometimes they may break. Once again we are not Jedi's in the cafe and therefore cannot magically prepare your coffee.

Rule#5: Our coffee is freshly brewed on a regular basis. It is hot. If your taste buds are damaged it is not the staff's fault for you being a dickhead. Learn to make your own damn coffee and be on your way.

and finally....

Rule #6: Unless you are lactose intolerant.....SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THE MILK. Do not nitpick about a double frap skim, no whole, no part, no nevermind skim. If you do we will be allowed to replace your milk with arsenic. You'll never know the difference.

We hope that you will abide by these new rules and take these changes to heart....We most certainly will...

Thank you,
Barnes and Noble

Random thoughts of the night...

I can't sleep and I was crusing YouTube, mostly becaue I'm addicted and obsessed with finding obscure things when I came across something that got me thinking.

I guess first off I should tell everyone what I came across. On a lark I typed in "Playboy After Dark" and got back two gems. The young Greatful Dead and Brenton Wood.

I got to thiking. Everyone will put every little thing on DVD, every crappy little itty bitty show but why won't anyone put Playboy After Dark and Playboy's Penthouse on DVD?

You know..people may forget but Playboy at one point was a leader in pop-culture. They were the forerunner in new hip music and movies and stars. And JAZZ. Amazing Jazz. Playboy was amazing in the 60's and these two shows were the entertainment sections come to life, showcasing up and coming talents that would become legends in the music and movie industries. It was also one of the first shows to feature singers of all races. If i'm not mistaken it was the first show to showcase black performers and be intigrated. Why not put these on dvd instead of freakin' Designing women?

God I'm so wierd......

I might as well do something constructive with this......

I mean..... I DO work at B&N and it DOES have benifits. ok it has a lot of benifits but one of the great things is that I get to read advanced copies of books. I thought that maybe as I read books I'd perhaps post reviews of them.

Do I know exactly how boring I am for my age? Yeah.......that's why I work at B&N. lol Although I do work in the music department so I'm a little hip......

Nah......

Ok the first book I read off of our advanced readers bookcase I actually read as a favor. I had picked it up on my break because I had nothing else to read and Brian mentioned that he had just finished it. He asked me to let him know what I thought of the ending if I decided to finish it myself. Being a good friend...something I should have maybe re-thought.....I said okey-dokey

....no really I said Okey dokey...like I said....I'm wierd...

Anyway the book I read was " The Brief History of the Dead" by Kevin Brockmeier.

I dunno....it sounded like an interesting title.

Remember the old addage..."never judge a book by it's cover?"

We're gonna change that too...."Never judge a book by ANYTHING EXCEPT WHAT'S WRITTEN ON THE PAGES!"

Whew...glad I got that out of my system..... are we all clear on that? Good.

Here's the link http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&isbn=0375423699&itm=3

Don't get me wrong it isn't a bad book. It's a very interesting premise. The dead never truly leave until the last person who remembers them passes on. They live in an earth-like world. They lead normal lives with jobs, relationships, bills but funny enough...not taxes. LOL Yes I did pick upon the fact that they didn't pay taxes. They do not age from when they died and they still can remember the world before they passed away. Although more and more of them are dissapearing without warning. If the book had just been about that it may have been pretty cool.

But of course not...that would be too simple, what kind of conflict would that cause? Silly me....ah duh.....Anyway the book teetoles between this world of the dead and the real, living world. The story of the real world centers around Laura Byrd, who is stuck in the middle of Antartica because her company, Coca Cola, has sent her there to do research for using the melting polar ice caps as an ingrediant for a new coca cola product. The parts in the living world are about her struggling to survive, since she has hardly any supplies or food left, and she cannot contact anyone at all.

Parts of the book are wonderful. It's neat to see people returning to the world of the dead the more the book goes on becuase Laura starts thinking about them and it's interesting to see the parallel between the worlds as hope starts to become a feeling for both sides that there will be an end.

The book does start slow, it needs a few chapters to really get it's engine going but once it starts it head full force. I was really into it, it had caught my attention and held it. You slowly find out hints and clues as to what exactly is wiping out all of these people and what Laura's role in it is. And it's interesting to see the people of the dead world, especially laura's parents, struggling to find answers about their daughter and about themselves. You root for Laura to survive in the middle of Antertica and you find yourself on the edge of your seat throught most of the book.

Now you say to yourself...but.....

yeah...of course there is a but....I'm sitting on it...

Ok...I'll knock off with the lame jokes. lol

The book PLUMMETS, and I do mean plummets in the last chapter or two. It starts a slow decline before that but it really is not noticable because the book is really captivating. This is why the ending is so painful. You invest hard earned reading time into these characters and then......nothing. Nothing is really resolved. And it's not in the good way. You never fully understand Coca-Cola's involvement in the virus wiping everyone out and the reason that's given is extreamly lame....essentially, it's a terrorist act. It would have been better if by chance if had soemthing to do with the ingridiants that they were using in their products and it was known to be harmful and it was used anyway. It has a great big lead up with suspense and then the follow-through just doesn't hold any water. (I won't disreguard the fact that I happened to be drinking a coke while reading this book....something told me in my head that it might not have been a good idea to do so....irony.....)

That can be said about pretty much the whole book, it's one giant lead up and no oomf at the end. It should be no shock to anyone that Laura does indeed die. It's something you know from moment one. But yet you still hold out hope. That shows amazing writing. You know she is going to die but yet you still have a tiny bit of hope. Fantasatic, the man did a good job. But he doesn't have any closer to his book. The book abruptly ends without rhyme or reason. You are never told of what happens to laura's parents and the other people in the world of the dead. You can surmise as to their fate but you never get that satisfying closer that should be felt. The end of the book should not be focused on a minor charcter. At least not the way it was. Brian did have a good point. There was no other way to end it. And he's right, there really wasn't. But....it could have been done MUCH better.

I think that was the worst part of the book, the end was extreamly frustrating and a let-down.

Should you read the book? I'll say the same thing Brian said to me... "Read it, and let me know what you think of the ending"

And when the book comes whizzing past my head in frustration I'll smile in glee. At least now I know my black eye will match Brian's.

What are we going to do tonight Brain?

Hehe I'm so excited......My friends rock. lol OK that's not what I'm completely excited about but they do. Two of my friends might be getting together. yea!!! hehe it's so cute...I don't care, let them smack me...they are cute. See they're perfect for each other, they both wanna kill me. I think that constitutes a soulmate don't you?

I'm starting to realize though that my friends are wierd....and perhaps I'm a bad influence....even though I'm not really. lol no matter what anyone says. lol

Ryan is just as bad as me.....

You heard me cafe lady. lol We will slowly bring the distruction of the world around us and go live with our man camp in Austraila...just you wait and see.

Oh god.... Ryan's right and i'm just realizing this in writing it..... we shouldn't be allowed to associate with each other. We're evil......although no matter what she says..it's both of us. I think she's more evil than me though. lol that's cause she's all quiet and cute. I'm like Penn to her Teller. The Pinky to her Brain. The R2-D2 to her C3PO (At least I don't have a bad motivator...) I'm the misdirection while she goes and does evil things. lol I won't use the Seigfried to her Roy because that's just .....ewwwwww..

Case in point....and she can't argue this...she made this conoction in the Starbucks cafe. It tastes like a Mounds bar. It has coconut and chocolate and lots and lots of CAFFINE and SUGAR. When I say lots..I mean you might as well just dump 50 million pixiesticks in this thing.

Wait......that would make a rally nasty color combination though...although you can spit in 10 different colors and if you snort them you'll be blowing rainbow snots for days.....

See?!? Caffine and me do not a good combination make. I start talking like this. This is why Ryan is more evil than me....she's sneaky. lol She's all cute and cuddly one minute....but turn your back...and WHAM!.....you're in a caffine hyperdrive and bouncing off the walls. lol

Between that and me and Brian trading stories about flying off roofs and swings (Not to mention that we've both admitted that we talk to ourselves...a LOT)...I'd say I'm surrounded by a really really wierd bunch of friends....Ahhhh...Just the way I like them.....

Life....Is.....Good....

I never noticed just how wierd I am......

Fun facts about me.......it's ok to be scared....


1. I will never miss the oppurtunity to tell a bad joke or make a lame comment. No seriously.....if a set up is made...I will finish it no matter HOW lame it is...

2. I am OBSESSED with aspics and the 50's. I am the other co-owner of a staggering collection of cookbooks from the 50's and 60's and my obsession with aspics knows no bounds....I mean come on...I made one...

3. I hate feminism. In mostly all forms. The militants have it wrong and the anti-feminists have it wrong and it makes me mad that there is no happy medium. No one does indignant like me.

4. I LOVE bad movies. I must have the worst list of favorite movies. An example you ask? Super Mario Brothers. nuff' said.

5. I apologize for EVERYTHING, even if it's not my fault. Sorry is a second language to me.

6. My two biggest celebrity crushes are Seth Rogan and Alan Tudyk...which is always followed by "Who the fuck are they?"


*Extras*

- I love STYX.....I know...bad bad me...but I do.

- I may be the ONLY person alive that finds a Canadian accents sexy

- I KILL TV shows

- I can name any episode of Whose line JUST by the first 5 seconds of the show. You show me the lineup, I can tell you what episode it is.

Havin a bad night.....

So a friend at work was having a bad night. I asked her if she wanted to go out and vent. She says sure..I oblige....bad mistake....

I'm not stupid, I was a psych major for 4 years, got my degree in it, I know that people don't see what they're really like sometimes. I'd be stupid to think I wasn't the same way.

We start out and she's venting. I won't go into detail what she's venting about, it's not appropriate but then she started getting into talking about how maybe I'm a little too flirty.

Why this conversation turned to me..I have NO idea.... She just started on me.

Ok I'm a flirty person. I always have been. I don't do it on purpose, I'm just a fun-loving person. I'm goofy and I know that I'm loud and touchy feely but I never thought I ever crossed the line and became annoying. But apparently I may be too pushy, too loud and just a little too bawdy. Not that it's a bad thing.... (Geez she sound Italian)

Yeah...not that it's a bad thing.....I am (and I quote) "A strong assertive somewhat pushy overbearing woman" Those word are like poison to me. I always wanted to be kinda fun and dorky but I never wanted to be one of those people who other people are like "oh god here she comes pretend to like her" when they see her. I always thought I was not one of those people. I would think that people honestly like being around me cause I'm fun and a little flirty but I always know when to back off. Maybe she was just projecting herself onto me (she's also very overbearing and so on) but maybe I'm wrong, maybe I never saw myself as I truly am.

Could it be that she might be jealous cause some of the guys at work have mentioned an interest in me and yet I'm very happily engaged? I doubt it, she may have a lot of issues when it comes to sex and relationships but I'm definately not jealous worthy. There is no other choice that to think that maybe I really am that way and never noticed.

She felt better when we parted ways...I felt much worse. But I guess that's what friends are for.

Reading about Jason Mraz farting in a plane made me feel a little better I will say, mostly cause I could relate. 747.....8 hour flight to italy......I had milk before boarding......all makes for a very interesting flight..........

In-store plays....more like In-store porn.....

If any of you guys have ever been in a Barnes and Noble, you might notice that some of the bigger stores have dvd's playing in the music department. These are called In-store plays (Yeah I know no shit...captain obvious)

Anyway every month that dvd changes to something else. It's usually not a movie it's usually a music dvd or some instructional video. It is also ALWAYS silent. It's on mute. Last month it was Andre Reiu the Flying Dutchman.

Ok....I loved that dvd. It was nice and if you knew the piece of classical music playing it wasn't so bad cause you knew why the people were dancing around. Granted there was a little midget kid who creeped everyone out but still...not bad. All anyone kept saying was that they couldn't wait for the dvd for May.....

I hate being a Cassandra-type figure....I hate no one listening to me and I ultimately being right.....

Everyone complained....everyone balked at me when I said that the next dvd could be worse...........

Take this Andre Reiu!



Yes!......Mwahahahahahahahahah........Pretentious fitness video!!

It's so creepy that I can't even find screenshots of it online.

It's worse with no sound because it just seems like they are dancing without rhyme or reason. In front of nebulous grey screen. You know the ones...they're usually the ones they use as the background for graduation pictures....yeah....and there is no defined floor since it's the same color as the imaginary wall that we're supposed to assume is there so they are just floating bodies in a grey world....a very GAY grey world.

It's like a cross between super gay and an instructional video for new and interesting sexual positions.....and it's all BAD.

It's something to be said when your boss comes in to talk to you and he looks up and goes (Out loud mind you..) "Holy shit what the hell is THAT?!?"

Guys...you don't have it so bad...the girls are kind of cute...they do vaguly sexual positions...nubile and in a tight sports bra and bicycle shorts.....not to bad......

Girls....scary.......short....SHORT....black tight bicycle shorts...and no shirt mind you...no shirt...and not in the good...oh he's hot i don't mind looking at this guy with no shirt...but more like....oh this is so gay........and creepy cause they have no shirt on...why do they have no shirt on? Is there a reason they have no shirt on? and why do they feel the need to wear such short lycra bicycle shorts? Is this practicle? Are you trying to tell me that this is how ballerina's practice?.....oh you trickster dvd.....you.....trickster.......

They really don't even do ballerina moves...they do stretching and.....jigs..no seriously...they do a jig. and it's BAD. Mostly they do vaguley sexual positions and they are very nubile. Which wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't so pretentious...and .....you know...it wasn't at a Barnes and Noble.... we have little kids in the store ya know....

Plus like Ryan said....who the hell wants to watch this....custimers are gonna be like..."Oh yeah!!...just what I wanted to see......a....fit..ness...video.............huh"

Doesn't help that some creepy older guy came in and was like oogling the dvd....ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I'd take the creepy midget anyday.

So...dirty....

I feel so dirty...so dirty.......

I am officially a bad influence.....

It isn't cheating if it's with a Hologram...

You know...sometimes I wish I was still a psych major. Not for a living I will admit but sometimes I wish I could write psych paper on subjects that interest me.

Like Jem.

Ok laugh it up..I'll wait.....

Are we done? Ok

But seriously, there are HUGE ethical flaws to this show. It's fascinating that we never picked up on this as kids. For those of you with penises who didn't watch Jem (Mostly cause you had penises and watched He-Man...oh no...Jem was SO girly compared to He-man...)

I can't explain the plot so I looked it up on Wikipedia.....here's the plot (man and people thought the plot of Mission Impossible was convoluted..)


"The central "secret" of the series is that Jem is in fact the alter ego of Jerrica Benton, owner/manager of Starlight Music, who adopts this persona with the help of Synergy, an extremely sophisticated holographic computer designed by her father and left to her after his death. (Ok problem #1...how horrible is a cartoon to make the parents DEAD...and if that didn't screw us kids up there's more)The other Holograms are Kimber Benton, Jerrica's younger sister, keyboardist and main songwriter for the band; Aja Leith, guitarist; and Shana Elmsford, who plays the synth drums. Aja and Shana are also childhood friends and adopted foster sisters of Jerrica and Kimber. Shana briefly leaves the group in a two-part episode, and a new character, Carmen "Raya" Alonso, is introduced as her replacement. When Shana returns, Raya remains the Holograms' drummer, while Shana takes up the guitar.Only the Holograms are aware of Jem's secret identity (although Jem revealed it to the President of the United States in the episode "The Presidential Affair"), and a small Chinese girl named Lin who discovered the secret in "Adventures in China." Episodes of the series frequently revolve around Jerrica's efforts to keep the two identities separate. This often causes conflict with her boyfriend, Rio, who is attracted to both Jerrica and Jem while not realizing that they are actually the same person. (problem #2....WTF?!?)Jerrica's other main concern is Starlight House, a home for foster girls run by the Holograms. The original location was Jerrica's childhood home until it was burned by a henchman of Eric Raymond. Later Jem and the Holograms won possession of the New Starlight Mansion during a battle of the bands. The Holograms' main purpose is in fact to fund the Starlight Foundation and support the Starlight Girls. The mansion, as well as a lucrative recording contract was offered by movie producer Howard Sands, who becomes one of the group's biggest supporters. Other friends of the Holograms included Countess Danielle DuVoisin, a renowned fashion designer, Anthony Julian, a music producer who is romantically involved with Shana, charity worker and choreographer Danse(Giselle Dvorak), and Craig Phillips, who entered the contest for the Holograms new drummer and is the older brother of the Misfit Stormer. He has an ongoing relationship with Aja.The Holograms' rival band are the Misfits: spoiled rich girl Pizzazz (Phyllis Gabor) and her cohorts: no-nonsense and streetwise Roxy (Roxanne Pelligrini) and kind-hearted and sensitive Stormer (Mary Phillips), who are later joined by British saxophone player and scam artist, Jetta (Sheila Burns). (This group should not to be confused with the real-life band The Misfits, led by Glenn Danzig.) Most episodes of the series involve a plot by the Misfits to sabotage and/or upstage Jem and the Holograms' latest glamorous escapade. This rivalry is encouraged and manipulated by their manager, the ruthless Eric Raymond, who was the business partner of Jerrica's father. Eric ran Starlight Music after Jerrica's father's death until Eric had a falling out with Jerrica. Eric stakes his claim on the record company against Jerrica's claim, thus starting the rivalry between the Holograms and the Misfits. Although in the final episode of the series, both groups seemed to have declared a truce between them.The final season of the show introduced a new set of antagonists, a new band called the Stingers, consisting of: Riot (Rory Llewelen), Rapture (Phoebe Ashe), and Minx (Ingrid Krueger). Riot also added romantic drama to the show, as he was obsessed with Jem. Pizzazz, in turn, was obsessed with Riot, and Rio was pursued by Minx. (So it's all one big orgy apparently) Dolls of the Stingers were planned, but not manufactured.Other characters important enough to have related dolls were filmmaker Video (Vivian Montgomery), her cousin and obsessive Misfits fan Clash (Constance Montgomery), choreographer and Danse, and three of the most prominent Starlight Girls: Ashley, Ba Nee, and Krissy." (Thank you Wikipedia!)

Ok.....there are a lot more problems with this show than I remembered but here's my one main question.....Is Rio really cheating? I mean techinically no...he's still dating the same person. As kids we didn't see this dilemma, we knew Jem and Jerrica were one and the same but I don't think we realized that Rio didn't know that.......

Ok wait wait...I have a headache......

Whew ok where was I?

See this would make a great psych paper. You couldn't argue the fact that Jem has Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality disorder...I just feel the need to use some of the fancy words I learned so as to not make my degree go to a complete waste) because she knows she's two different people and she can control when she changes. And you should be able to say that Rio is at fault because he's dating two people that he doesn't know are the same person (Man this is confusing) but on the same token Jem sort of makes him. lol When they first meet she chases after him and fawns all over him and if I'm not mistaken she makes out with him first...god this is like rape. Hey if I were Rio I'd take the bait. As kids we don't see this problem but man this is some fucked up shit right here. lol

So techincally Jerrica is getting jealous over...herself...huh? I repeat....WTF!?!

I swear this would make the greatest paper in Psych history. lol I'm starting to realize why this generation is all fucked up...we've all watched Jem.It brings a whole new meaning to Jem...Jem is adventure. Jem...Jem is excitement.




Here's where the problem started, the video for "Who is he kissing?" You try to figure it out....he's kissing the same person. (Unless he's as gay as he sounds then we got a whole new problem on our hands)



Pardon for the poor quality.

This is the ultimate showdown.........

Weeeeeee.....First blog for the site.

What can I say, myspace just isn't enough. LOL Actually more than anything I think I just need my own little blogging space in the world. And I didn't know this site existed.

In good news...classes are finished....FINALLY. I don't know if I could have taken any more classes. My paper is finished....all 15 pages of it and I am one happy girl. Especially because I finally get "God of War".

Is it sad that that's been my only motivation for finishing this paper by today?

Ok ok ok. I'm super duper excited that I'm done. So much so that at 11 am this morning I did a little jig to celebrate. Man...no wonder the people at Barnes and Noble are scared of me.

Speaking of work....I serenaded Adrian Sunday with "The Ultimate Showdown" while Chris shouted obscentities as he was hunched over the fax machine. Ahhh it was almost like a Felini Film........ except maybe without the pretentiousness.

I can't wait to go out to T.G.I friday's again. We had a blast saturday night watching drunk frat guys throw up. And skanky girlfriend....can't forget skanky girlfriend. I swear it was like a spectators sport. I've never met a group of people as wierd as me....

Wait....is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Ahhhhh......well I'm off to enojoy the day and play some kingdom of loathing....being that I am a level 2 disco bandit and therefore that makes me a Rhythm Rouge. DANCE BATTLE!

Keep it funky.....and not Fucky as I just mispelled.....