In-store plays....more like In-store porn.....

If any of you guys have ever been in a Barnes and Noble, you might notice that some of the bigger stores have dvd's playing in the music department. These are called In-store plays (Yeah I know no shit...captain obvious)

Anyway every month that dvd changes to something else. It's usually not a movie it's usually a music dvd or some instructional video. It is also ALWAYS silent. It's on mute. Last month it was Andre Reiu the Flying Dutchman.

Ok....I loved that dvd. It was nice and if you knew the piece of classical music playing it wasn't so bad cause you knew why the people were dancing around. Granted there was a little midget kid who creeped everyone out but still...not bad. All anyone kept saying was that they couldn't wait for the dvd for May.....

I hate being a Cassandra-type figure....I hate no one listening to me and I ultimately being right.....

Everyone complained....everyone balked at me when I said that the next dvd could be worse...........

Take this Andre Reiu!



Yes!......Mwahahahahahahahahah........Pretentious fitness video!!

It's so creepy that I can't even find screenshots of it online.

It's worse with no sound because it just seems like they are dancing without rhyme or reason. In front of nebulous grey screen. You know the ones...they're usually the ones they use as the background for graduation pictures....yeah....and there is no defined floor since it's the same color as the imaginary wall that we're supposed to assume is there so they are just floating bodies in a grey world....a very GAY grey world.

It's like a cross between super gay and an instructional video for new and interesting sexual positions.....and it's all BAD.

It's something to be said when your boss comes in to talk to you and he looks up and goes (Out loud mind you..) "Holy shit what the hell is THAT?!?"

Guys...you don't have it so bad...the girls are kind of cute...they do vaguly sexual positions...nubile and in a tight sports bra and bicycle shorts.....not to bad......

Girls....scary.......short....SHORT....black tight bicycle shorts...and no shirt mind you...no shirt...and not in the good...oh he's hot i don't mind looking at this guy with no shirt...but more like....oh this is so gay........and creepy cause they have no shirt on...why do they have no shirt on? Is there a reason they have no shirt on? and why do they feel the need to wear such short lycra bicycle shorts? Is this practicle? Are you trying to tell me that this is how ballerina's practice?.....oh you trickster dvd.....you.....trickster.......

They really don't even do ballerina moves...they do stretching and.....jigs..no seriously...they do a jig. and it's BAD. Mostly they do vaguley sexual positions and they are very nubile. Which wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't so pretentious...and .....you know...it wasn't at a Barnes and Noble.... we have little kids in the store ya know....

Plus like Ryan said....who the hell wants to watch this....custimers are gonna be like..."Oh yeah!!...just what I wanted to see......a....fit..ness...video.............huh"

Doesn't help that some creepy older guy came in and was like oogling the dvd....ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I'd take the creepy midget anyday.