Wedding recap

Wedding recap
So my brother got married yesterday. Fun stuff I know. It was fun though....or at least the end product was when it was all said and done. lol Where to start ...where to start...

I guess we should start at the begining..I've heard it's a very good place to start. I love my brother but the church and reception were in center city philly which is just the epitome of easy parking and heavenly driving. Fine...we borrowed a GPS system to make it easier. Which promptly went haywire once we arrived in Philly. lol It was like "Go straight on 15th to Latimier" and then out of nowhere it would say "Turn left" and then go back to saying "Go straight on 15th to Latimier" We got there pretty easily though so we parked our car in a parking garage and took a cab to the church. That was the easy part. Actually no...the wedding was pretty easy too. It was gorgeous to say the least. the church was beautiful, the friar was awesome (Nice guy...loved to talk...obsessed with italians. lol) and the ceremony went smoothly. I realized that it wasn't until we got out of the church that things started going wrong..well not wrong..things just started getting funny.

We were taking a cab back to the reception hall and I got ass-raped by a pen in the cab. No....really. I sat down and there was a pen sticking straight up stuck between the seats. Aren't i just the lucky one to sit right on top of it? I'm telling you...I get all the luck. Although luckily it didn't do any damage to the dress since the dress was black lace but it did leave a nice scratch on my bum. So other than having to walk funny all night I don't think I'm in much harm. lol Just a lot of pain. lol

Also i've decided that if I had a penny for everytime someone said "Oh...so you're next" to me last night...I'd be a bagillionare. lol I don't understand why at a wedding, everyone feels the need to badger someone else. lol Did I have a big bullseye on me that said "Oh please please...target me! Please grab me and go on and on about how I have to be next and I better do it soon." sheesh.

Can I ask someone something. Maybe i'm wierd or retarted or what...but since when does a wedding translate too "Let me find the sluttiest dress and pair that with the sluttiest makeup I can find. Not only that but let me cake on said makeup and get a fake tan so that I look orange...yeah.....that'll be awesome!" I lost track of the amount of (in Heidi's words) Hoochie dresses I saw. And why do women feel the need to cake on makeup. I thought greasepaint was outlawed. And do we really need a dress so short that your underwear is showing...not to mention a top so low cut that whatever little boobs you have are at the mercy of you bending over and popping out? Keep in mind that this was coupled with thinck brooklyn accents by IAP's (Italian American Princesses, I swear one woman didn't just have a Louis Vitton bag...she had a Satchel ...it was the freaking goomba convention in town...I love when Italians come out of the woodwork)

My god this is a long blog...and i haven't even gotten to the good parts yet. lol


Ok...so onto the good parts.....my own family...yeah until then I wasn't even talking about my side of the family.....With my side of the family I have decided to employ what I like the call the one answer and ignore technique.. Now this may sound mean but my cousin is a hawk. She doesn't have conversations with you...so interrogates you. This is how she usually talks to me.. right at me and as condiscending as possible....such great conversation pieces that she says EVERYTIME she talks to me include these little gems...

"How's school"
"How many classes?"
"Have you set a date yet?"
"What are you gonna do with your degree?"
"How far are you from Rider?"
"Did you know i'm going there."
"What do you plan to do with your degree?"
"when are you finishing school?"


and so many more....

(Did I mention that this women is NOT my cousin by blood?)

So this year I decided that I would just answer her and continue with the conversation I was having before she interupted me. It worked for the most part. She tried her damndest but she didn't get very far. She tried a lot actually. When Steve (My bro) and Tara ( his fiance/now wife. lol) sat down at their table they had a little table all to themselves so quickly my cousin turns around and goes (all in one breath mind you) "Are you gonna have that at your wedding? Do you like that? What are you gonna have at your wedding? Is that what your cake is gonna look like?" My response....."I don't know" and turned to Dan and kept right on talking to him. Did that detour her...no.....she jumps right in an goes

"Wow....I can't believe that you guys find so much to talk about. It's amazing that you guys have been dating for so long and can still talk to each other...you guys must have soooooooooo much in common"

Yup...that's exactly what she said. I'm sorry if I don't have a loveless marriage like you do where you and your husband just live with vile hatred for each other and all you do is yell at him. And I'm sorry if me and Dan actually find things interesting about each other and we enjoy each others company. There must be something wrong with us.

Although nothing beats what she said when the dances happened. The groom and bride traditionally dance with their respective parents and this was no different. Tara danced with her dad to "Wonderful Tonight" and Steve danced with his mom to "Forever young". Then Tara dedicated Barbara Streisnds "Evergreen" , which was her parents wedding song, to her parents and they danced together. I thought that was so sweet. What does my cousin do..she leans over to my mom and goes (Out of the blue mind you) "I don't know what's more shocking...Steve's dance with his mom or Tara's parents dancing together to their wedding song." My mom....god bless her...leans over to me and goes "What the HELL did that mean?" I'm stumpted,as is everyone else at the table. Heaven help her at my wedding. lol We didn't stay too much longer after that and we headed home. on the we back to the parking garage to pick up our car we passed a drug transaction...nice isn't it? At least they were cuddly drug dealers who asked us how the wedding was. The when we got to the garage we gave the guy our ticket and waited for the car. With a few other girls...DRUNK other girls...who seemed to know the garage guys WAY to well. oh...and a couple in their early 50's who just came from a swingers club. I kid you not. I love philly.

So all in all a pretty good wedding....to say the least. lol I don't wanna do it again for a very long time.

So I went to go see Colin and Brad tonight...

I love the british Whose Line is it Anyway. No wait...let me rephrase that.....I can tell you which episode of whose line it is just by the first couple seconds when they show who is on. That's how much I love the show, I've been watching it since I was 10. Now that the show is over in England i have to deal with watcing the Drew's line. Not that it's bad, it's just not as funny, the censors are dumb. lol.

Last year though I was given two tickets of joy. lol No......not two tickets to the Bunny ranch. Why that would be two tickets of joy for me I'll never know....but no.....I got two tickets to go see Brad and Colin live in concert..in trenton. I was excited. I really was. lol Two of my favorite whose line people coming to trenton and I was gonna be able to see them. Was it as good as I expected?

YES...emphatically indubitably...yes. Yeah I know I probably spelled indubitally wrong..but that's ok....I know shakespeare dammit..not spelling. Ahem ok getting ahead of myself...Anyway...to put it nicely I nearly peed myself laughing the first time I saw them. The games they played were amazing come on...they did the mousetrap game. lol The last time I had seen that was during the whose line Pay-per-view years ago. Also.....Everyone's confusion over Shamong was really funny. I saw them one more time last year in Atlantic City with Greg Proops and I was not dissapointed.

So where is all this babbling going? Well I just got home from seing them again one more time back in trenton. I laughed, I cried (from laughing), I danced in my seat. lol Some highlights:

Well the mousetrap game was back.....god that game is so violent......let's see...Blidfolds, barefoot, 100 mousetraps, and the alphabet game played backwards....all recipies for hilarity. lol Oh and you can't forget the crotch shots. lol

Oh yeah....psychotic kids during "change" who made poor Brad talk straight for like 10 minutes. lol

The game "Whose line" with Colin ended up having a mom who's a cow (literally), Brad is a crossdresser, and apparently Brad's shlong is huge and there's a funny smell cause Colin farted. And the audience members are perverted idiots (Hey Colin...How's your 'nus'....you know...'penus'). ..Not that there were any better last year(I mean come on...."Would you like to see my breets" Priceless!)

Brad uttering "Port Charles" quickley followed by him burrying his head in his hands and screaming "That's the gayest thing i've ever said!"

And of course....interrogation....ok I know i've missed a lot...like the game where they replaced every 'S' with a 'P' but this is So funny. Interrogation consists of Brad(or Colin..in this case Brad went out) and the audience give suggestions as to what Brad was wearing, what he did, where he was, and what he had with him. Last year this cause the whole Shamong confusion and the infamous "Argentina Dogs". this year was no different......It wasn't so much Brad's guesses, he was really good, it was more what we chose for him......

Ah-hem.....::Flexes knuckles::

"Brad was wearing a clown suit, diaper, and giant french fry suit (cause...ya know...the clown suit wasn't enough), his crime was that he froze a portly llama and illigally farmed Canadians (But...but....they're so cute!) He did this in Nockamixon, PA (Not Rubebellblender) at Stevie T's Strip club. He had with him a beer bottle and a toaster. "

Believe it or not....brad got all of that pretty fast....scary. lol

So that was my night...I'm still euphoric. So in honor.....Classic Whose line!

Ok...for those of you guys that don't believe me that Eddie Izzard was indeed on Whose line....I give you...the creature from...ESSEX!

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and if you let this load all the way then skip to the end you'll get to see the Mousetrap game....It's really worth it...warning....do not drink or consume anything while watching that game...it'll be all over you in about two seconds from laughing so hard.

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Thanks for ruining my vacation guys...

those of you that are reading this that work with me...please don't utter a word. I dunno exactly how much work has gone over my head with all this bullshit but I really need to vent this out. So just pretend you don't know what's going on.

I'm on vacation. Granted I go back to work on Sunday but this was still fucked up in my opinon. A really good friend of mine quit a few days ago and I'm so very proud of him for it. He stood up for himself and that's something to be proud of. Now the same day this happened my music manager, who is also friends with him, called me. Keep in mind I'm on my vacation. I was assuming she was calling cause she wanted to hang out or talk about what happened or ANYTHING but work. I didn't wanna hear about work. I wanted to finish my vacation in peace, I mean, that's why i went on vacation. No...what does she call to me...she calls to tell me that the other music lead got promoted to music manager, she got promoted to department manager and I got promoted to Cash office. If this had been a few months ago I would have been thrilled...happy...excited, you might say. But this promotion came at the expense of a friend leaving and I wasn't really given a choice. Not only was a not given a choice..the news was delivered to me kinda cold. I know that the position needed to be filled but it was told to me so cold....as in "Ah..I have good news...Mel got promoted, I got promoted, and you're going to the cash office" There was no "take your time to decide" or "If you really want it" or "I'm really sorry about what happened: none of that. it was just Boom here's the info and there's nothing you can do about it. This might be mean but I wouldn't be shocked that when I go back to work Donald is made *surprise surprise* the new lead. They've been wanting to do that forever. And this couldn't wait till I came back to work why?? Yeah I thought so.

So yeah...I was kinda pissed but that wasn't the worst part. I get ANOTHER call from my music manager last night. First of all it was during a hockey game which unless you're on my good side do not bother me during a hockey game. Second of all I didn't pick up. So she left a message. The message? Oh yeah by the way starting next week you're gonna train for cash office...with Dara.

Gee...thanks for ruining my vacation.....again

At least while I'm in the cash office there will be no Panic! at the Disco.
And heaven help her if she try to cross me.