I've never been one to follow the rules.......

I found something absolutely horrendous on the book shelf yesterday. I had always heard of this book but I didn't really think that it existed. At least not if four million different copies. I always thought it was a book that had existed in a time long ago, when women still weren't sure how to balance their need for love and power. I had thought that this book had gotten shelved under many a bed since then. I had thought (Or at least hoped ) that women weren't this petty or manipulative. I had hoped it was just a sterotype. I was wrong. And this book still does exist, oh god does it exist. It exists in original form, and in hardback and in special edition with diagrams.....yes...diagrams. What is this book you ask? Glad you did ask...it was getting kinda hard to keep writing "this book" all the time. ......I'm talking about the book "the Rules".

That's right...I am now a proud owner of "The Rules". Oh! and "The Rules II: Electric Boogaloo" Becuase in case you're so miserably inept in this surefire way to get a husband, we've contradicted ourselves that The Rules are the only thing you need and made a sequal....with more rules...LOTS more rules.....

Now you're question may this this...why, would a girl who usually wants to shakes girls till their heads fall off buy such Devil's Handiwork? Well..duh...they make me laugh...they make me laugh just like the girls who buy the econo-size wedding planners because it's "her" day and snicker at me when I show them my engagement ring that's more elaborate than their 30 poud rock on a plain band.

The 30% discount at work doesn't hurt either.....

And in a sick way, I've been curious if these books are really just that bad. The answer.....

MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...woo sorry let me just wipe this tear from my eye....let me compose myself and try that again. OK..you know what, shit, I can't talk about this book with a straight face. I mean come on they have made fucking RULES for getting a husband. Not loving mind you...nope the whole purpose of this book is to get a man to propose to you by the first date. Simply tagging a husband.

First off, this is a cult that you get brainwashed into....Don't believe me...let me read you some fun passages.....
Here are some fun sentances like:

"Don't expect to get them (The Rules) right the first time or everytime. We didn't. We broke rules, got hurt and then eventually got serious and did the Rules as they are written" (Lena said there will be pain.....)

Oh...or how about this little gem.....

"it's not fun to break The Rules! You could easily end up alone" (anyone else getting a sinister vibe from this one.) I got chills.

and the best one......

"Be friends with only Rules-minded girls. Anyone that it's a rules-girl will only discourage you"

Hmmm...let's see: Threats, Brainwashing, like-mindedness....Yup...sounds like a cult to me.

The more I read it though, the more I relize that their rules seems to be common sense. Just not to this extreme. Yes....it's common sense to not blurt everything about yourself out on a first date..or to know some tact when it comes to what to say. But this is downright manipulation...

There are 35 Rules plus 12 hints. 35! There is so much that one's jaw just drops at that I'm gonna spread this over a bunch of days. There is just THAT much that offends me about this. But I think the worse about this book and mindset...is that women still follow it. I've seen women act like this and they don't realize just how foolish they really are. Paranoid and smacking of desperation (Which, funny enough the book is vehement about not exuding). They just act mean and manipulative.

I've never been one to think of myself as pretty. But for some reason I do pretty damn good. While I didn't date around I still seem to attract men. Just by being myself. Rules? I don't need no stinkin rules! To the rules girls....I'm an abomination. Personally...I just think I follow my own rules.


The Rules....

Rules #1: Be a "Creature unlike any other"

Now this rule kinda sucks you into a false sense of security. It sounds normal enough....it LOOKS normal enough. It's about being confident....that's cool. I like that. Be confident in your own skin. But is that how you're really supposed to feel? Hell no according to the Rules! Which is like "According to Jim" but not as bad. You're only supposed to pretend you feel that way. Phsaw...forget really feeling that way. If you really felt that way you would need "The Rules" They don't want you to really feel that way. Just pretend.

Rule #2: Don't talk to a man First (And don't ask him to Dance)

Ok this rule is just stupid. LOL But I guess when you're money hungry and just want a man for husbandry you want to be aloof so he'll come after you. I know I'll repeat this is the days to come but if I were a guy and some girl that I really liked feigned like she didn't care, I think I would get bored and lose interest. Or think she really wasn't that into me and I'd go find someone else. But I liike how in this rule they start about the first of many bringing down women who scoff at this book: "Some of the smartest women think that they are toop educated or talented to be passive, play games or do The Rules (Play games?? Can we play Clue? I like Clue. Rule women don't play games....they just act like a bitch...oh wait...I don't think they're acting...oh well). They feel their diplomas and paychecks entitle tem to more in life than waiting for the phone to ring."

Everyone is entitled to more to life than waiting for the phone to ring....and wait...isn't this just after the book has told me that I'm supposed to play hard to get and stay busy? I need to lie down I'm confused...oh no wait...I'm only supposed to pretend to be busy so he doesn't know I've really just been sitting next tot he phone about to slit my wrists if he doesn't call because I've already planned out what our wedding will look like...my mistake..

But here's the best part...." These women, we assure you, alwaysend up heartbroken when they are rebuffed"

Really? Is this like a 100% guarentee that you're giving me? No? But you're assuring me this. Oh...you're just telling me this to make me feel better and lead me into a false sense of security? Big shock.

Although the best part of this book is that they always give example of girls who defied the rules, breaking them and the hedious consequences they're recieved because of it. Instilling fear is it not? Defy the rules and terrible things may happen to you. It's like the calico colored guinae pig who will eat your kidney if you don't watch Midnight Spank on G4. Just not as cuddly....

this is just the first two rules...and these are NORMAL compared to the rest.....So stay tuned I'll get through them all.....