Abandon hope, all ye who enter here

The unholy demon is a fucking idiot....

2006-12-03T21:22:00.001-05:00

Let me just start out by saying that..

Would you like examples?

....with pleasure:

Evidence A) She didn't bring a drawer down to music even though she knew it was busy and they didn't have enough registers. One of the cashiers mistakingly started ringing on the drawer while there wasn't anything in it. The she started yelling at me that she didn't have a DAS so she didn't know another drawer had to go down there. Even though she was supposed to stay downstairs and do returns at the main and do none of the swaps. HI-larious cause it's her mistake to fix. She also apparently doesn't know what the fuck "all the drawers in music are sups" mean. She just kept going "but why?" and "Hmm..that's funny" No matter what I said she wasn't getting that everyone was ringing on everyone elses drawer cause they don't have enough drawers. I had to keep repeating it to her and finally I just grabbed her and yelled "I'm not ASKING you..I'm TELLING you!"

Evidence B) It took her 5 hours to look at the fucking DAS. By that point she had missed her break. She just assumed she was going on break at 6 and I left at 7. The look on her face when I said goodnight to her was PRICELESS. Then she started yelling at me cause I didn't tell her to go on her break. My reply: "Why...am I your fucking babysitter?" I was busy swapping out drawers all day because she was so busy twidling her thumbs. I didn't even offer to stay late. Oh..and I left her a bunch of flashes cause I had to scadattle out of there considering by the time I finished all the drawers I was doing it was 6:45. ok...maybe not scadattle I was hanging out in music talking to Mike for about an hour. I COULD have done the flashes...I just didn't feel like it.

Evidance C) and this is the best one...Liz REAMED her out for forgetting about the Dunbar change. I couldn't help but smile at myself.

I feel so torn. I feel really mean but then I think about all the hell she puts all of us through and then I almost feel like she deserves it once in a while.

My top 100 favorite Video games..

2006-11-29T02:39:00.000-05:00

I hate making these stinkin' lists up...only cause it always depends on my mood as to what I like on any given day...but this is the closest.....enjoy...laugh...

100 Favorite Video Games

1. Space Channel 5: Part 2 (Dance Battle!!)
2. God of War
3. Gabriel Knight 3: Blood of the Damned
4. Animal Crossing: Wild World
5. No one lives forever 2
6. Star wars: Knights of the old Republic
7. Super Mario Brothers 2
8. We Love Katamari
9. Broken Sword 2: Shadow of the Templars
10. Medieval
11. Viewtiful Joe
12. House of the Dead
13. Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes
14. SSX Tricky
15. Kingdom of Hearts
16. Ribbit King
17. Lego Star Wars
18. James Bond: Everything or Nothing
19. Paper Mario
20. ICO
21. American McGee's Alice
22. Smackdown: Here Comes the Pain
23. Under a Killing Moon
24. Um Jammer Lammy
25. Katamari Damacy
26. DOA Volleyball
27. Clue: Fatal Illusion
28. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade
29. Broken Sword 3: The Sleeping Dragon
30. Castlevania II: Simon's Quest
31. No One Lives Forever
32. Bust A Groove
33. Animal Crossing
34. Warioware Touched
35. Playboy: The mansion
36. Space Channel 5
37. Super Mario Brothers 3
38. Zelda
39. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
40. Déjà vu
41. GTA: London 1696
42. Simpsons Hit and Run
43. Burnout 3: Takedown
44. Maniac Mansion
45. The Dagger of Amon-Ra
46. Catacombs
47. Viewtiful Joe 2
48. Zeus: Master of Olympis
49. Winning Eleven Eight
50. Dance Dance Revolution
51. Gabriel Knight 1
52. Mickey Mousecapades
53. Tony Hawk's Underground 2
54. Soul Caliber 3
55. Nintendogz
56. Voodoo Vince
57. Paperboy
58. Ripley's Believe It or Not: The Riddle of Master Lu
59. Grim Fandango
60. Warioware Twisted
61. Where in Time is Carmen Sandiago
62. Sam and Max
63. Metal Gear Solid 2
64. Rescue: The Embassy Mission
65. A Bard's Tale
66. Rockin Kats
67. Dead or Alive 2
68. Tiny Toons
69. Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
70. Mortal Kombat
71. Feel the Magic
72. NHL 2006
73. Sonic the Hedgehog
74. Rock n' Ball
75. Yoshi's Island
76. Street Fighter
77. Snoopy's Olympics
78. Guilty Gear X
79. Pokemon: Ruby Red
80. NHL 95 (Make Gretzky's head bleed!)
81. The Little Mermaid
82. Magic: The Gathering
83. Medieval 2
84. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
85. Leisure Suit Larry : Magna Cum Laude
86. Twisted Metal
87. Megaman 2
88. Tekken Tag
89. Super Mario Brothers 1
90. Resident Evil
91. Pac – Man
92. Broken Sword 1
93. Duck Tails
94. The Sims
95. Knights of the Old Republic 2: The Sith Lords
96. Indiana Jones: Fate of Atlantis
97. Oregon Trail (Hehe I used to love writing the tombstones, I'm sick)
98. BMX XXX (RAGDOLL Physics!!)
99. Gabriel Knight 2
100. Super Galdelic Hour

All I want for Christmas is the Black Plague...

2006-11-27T15:14:00.000-05:00

Go there..buy me little microbes

They're cute....see?

Giant Plush Microbes

16 reasons why I love the new James Bond movie..

2006-11-26T01:24:00.000-05:00

So I went to go see the new james Bond movie a few days ago with a group of people from work....essentially 4 guys and me. lol As if I wasn't already a big enough Bond fan, here are the 15 reasons why I absolutely loved Casino Royale...

1) The Opening sequence is in Black and White....::squeal::

2) The song and opening credits....awesome mix of new with an old school touch of what the songs used to be....even if there were no dancing naked women to be found...the animation was amazing.

3) I was sitting next to the best people ever. lol Both times

4) Story.....kinda realiztic enough where it's still James Bond-ified but you could still believe it would happen

5) Daniel Craig.....Awesomely hot in short shorts

6)Aston Martin......::drool::

7)Actually made the transition from Baacarat to Poker work

8) Daniel Craig shows flashes of sheer Connery in his acting....he's got the swagger..

9) Did I mention the bad guy cried blood tears?

10) It rewarded you for reading the books....super big yea!

11) Even the bond girls were good this time around

12) the fact that while watching the opening credits I freaked out that Giancarlo Gianinni was in the movie.....Who else would get that excited....Honestly..

13) have I mentioned Daniel Craig?

14) and his treasure trail?

15) and the fact that he is naked in the movie?

16) Does there really need to be any other reason?

Ok...the last one isn't really a reason....but seriously....one of the best movies I've seen in a long time..and definately the best bond movie in a long time....Go see this movie..now...right now..

Now..

Go

Badass Defused

2006-11-18T11:12:00.000-05:00

A) There are certain moments in every girls life where we get to have a cool badass line.

B) At said moment we should be allowed to bask in that glory.

C) I had one of those moment a few nights ago

D) and then promptly fell on my face

How did this all happen? Well one night at work one of my co-workers said to me "If you weren't dating someone I would take you on." Not out...mind you...on. For the first time in my life I got to do the badass thing and look all sultry and go.. "You couldn't handle me." Ok...so not terribly badass but it was kinda cool. Not that I needed to point out to him that if I were single when I had started at B&N I probably would have pursued the one super hot co-worker I have. lol Yeah....I'm lamzz0rz. Sad.....I can't even spell that in l33t. lol Grrrr... Anyway back to the story.....After my moment in glory I proptly walked up the stairs to go to the break room....at which point I hit the top step with my foot and fall FLAT ON MY FACE.

Yes....laugh....please laugh.....my moment in the sun snatched away by the fact that I'm so clumsy i trip over my own two feet.

I think maybe I should just stick to what I'm good at from now on......

Takin it old school.....

2006-11-17T18:30:00.000-05:00

I'm probably dating myself but I grew up watching wrestling. And not just ANY wrestling...I grew up in the hayday of the best wrestling ever...the 80's. I grew up watching Ricky Steamboat and Gorilla Monsoon and Bob Orton and the Undertaker when he was still young and Ric Flair when it was still concievable that he was the nature boy. My walls were covered with posters of the Iron Shiek and Sgt. Slaughter and Jake the Snake and Andre the Giant.

These guys told me to look both ways while crossing the street and take my vitamins and be nice to other people. Fuck...Sgt. Slaughter was a freakin GIJOE!

But of course as anyone who grew up in the 80's knows...there were two men who completely ruled WWE merchadising....Hulk Hogan (when he wasn't a bright scary orange and just mearly kinda tanned)... and the legendary Rowdy Roddy Piper. Say what you will about wrestling but I'll bet you talk to anyone who grew up in that time frame and those are the two names that get repeated over and over. These two men were the faces of wrestling...and polar opposides as well. Where Hulk was the epitome of good behavior and telling kids to eat their veggies, piper was always causeing trouble. Brash....loudmouthed....and controversial....he was what kids who were trying to look past the goody-two exterior of Hogan wanted in their wrestler...a man who could talk shit and could back it up.

I won't lie....I was a Hulkamaniac. I had Hulk sheets, Hulk slippers (you guys know the ones...the ones with the hard pastic heads that you could beat someone to death with), Hulk dolls, Hulk puzzles and even a Hulk lunchbox...BUT....and to this day I will still say this to anyone...I was a Piper fan. Hulk was cool...but Piper was AWESOME. A badass who could back his words with a fight that didn't consist of the same three moves each time. I'm writing this only cause I just got the Piper box set today and even just holding it in the store I got a little misty eyed at the countess hours I spent watching Piper fight and boxtops cut out just to get that plastic cheap-ass Piper memorabilia from the cereal box.

I'm not saying much just this.....Hogan was cool....but Piper was the man....

I do love them Rangers!

2006-11-15T00:35:00.001-05:00

Ok....so...I'm writing this extreamly hyper so I pardon two things: My bad spelling and grammer and my staccato sentances.. that being said I will have to say that I've had the BEST time tonight. i just got home from a hockey game. ok this may not seem like a lot BUT it was my very first game at MSG...hell it was my very first non flyers game. And especially one where I'm not rooting for the opposing team.

ok I'm going way to fast I have a headache now..I'll start from the begining.

Danielle...my Bookseller/cash office mafia sister and all around amazing human being invited me to go see a rangers game tonight. The rangers aren't my absolute favorite team..they are maybe my third or fourth favorite team in the league..but I do love them. So of course I said yes..I mean come on...taking the train to NY, going to a completely new stadium and getting to actually root for a team I love and support...this was gonna be great. Then she adds the punch...they were gonna play the NJ Devils. For those of you that dont know....I HATE the devil's with a passion unbridled. This isn't exactly true....I adore MOST of the guys on the team...Brian Gianta, Patrick Elias and one or two more guys....but I hate HATE hate hate hate hate hate Martin Brodour. Hate him....oh my god I hate the man. I hate him as a player.....and tonight I got to see just how much. But I'm getting ahead of myself again.

So...I picked up Danielle from work and we went back to her house where we made what can only be called the greatest fritatta known to man. lol Peppers and eggs and potatoes and onions....oh yum! on top of sourdough bread. I pull out the jersey I'm gonna wear tonight....the leaf's Brian Leetch jersey. Why not a rangers jersey? Cause I still gotta show love to my boys man! I figured this was a great comprimise...I still got to wear the jersey of my faovrite team...and it still had one of the best loved men who played for the rangers on it.

So anyway....We hop in the car..sandwiches in tow to eat on the train. get to the train station and have to go all the way back because we forgot the tickets...hop back in the car...go back home grab them then go all the way back..and yea! our spot was still empty..run out with maybe 5 minutes to spare and realize that the parking machine doesn't take coins

Ok....will someone explain to me why the princeton junction parking machine only takes dollars?

But anyway...make it to the station and get on the train. I love train rides. It was so much fun...and MUCH easier than driving into the city. Get to the game where the seats were amazing...just about center ice with a perfect view of everyone. amazing. The crowd was amazing, everything was just amazing. I've never been to an NHL game where there was so much love and fun. Maybe cause I've always rooted for the opposing team but still. Everyone just laughed and joked with each other...it was awesome. I left with a shit-load of merchandise and not only that.....BUT THE RANGERS BEAT THE DEVILS!!! Best 5 minutes of my life was the start of the 3rd period when the rangers scored three...count em' three unanswered goals to take the lead. And Brodour got a pentaly for Delay of game...cause he's a fucking cheater! And now I don't have to sneak into work tommorow fearing my bosses laughter. hehe Me and Danielle can hold our heads up high. Yea!! hehe...I just had just the best time tonight. wow I'm starting to drag ass now but it was completely worth it. hehe I'm gonan go crash now! peace out! hehe

Life, the universe and other shit I've learned along the way..

2006-11-14T10:46:00.001-05:00

It's been such a long week. But I'm excited...I have off tommrow and me and Danielle are going to see the Rangers at MSG. It's nice...and definately a well deserved and much needed rest. I have found myself two sister soulmates, Danielle and Ryan. I have so much fun with each of them and when we're all together...well...let's just say the Bespecticled Bookseller Mafia comes out. lol

I can't even begin to tell anyone just how happy I've been ever since I moved out. not that my parents are bad by any stretch of the imagination...just they were extreamly strict. It's nice to be able to hang out with friends and not have to worry about being home by 11 or having to ask for permission only to be told no. I mean it's so nice to pick up and go out with friends and spend all night out. it's nice to be able to say yes when asked if you wanna go and hang out at friday's after work instead of putting your head down and having to mumble that you can't becuase you're parents will flip if you do. Hell...it's nice to be able to color my hair.

I have also learned to embrace my inner hot dork. not that i'm really that hot...but I am really dorky. Eh...I'll take what I can. actually what I've become more comfortable with is that I can in fact be kinda cute and yes in fact guys do indeed find me attractive. And no...just becasue I find guys attractive doesn't mean that they'll run towards the hills in fear. And reguardless of what anyone says I'm not being self-depricating. It's just one of those things that if enough people tell you something you actually start to believe it. It's hard to break the record in your head of your parents telling you how unattractive you are.

Ah fuck this is becoming melodramatic and kinda emo (Best shirt I've ever seen by the way: "I wish my grass was emo this way it would cut itself"... I love it) let me stop while I'm behind.

But all in all life is pretty good. I have an amazing fiance, a great place to call home, I've got people who call me to hang out outside of work...amazing friends who I love and I have a life. An actual life. I have friends who will poke fun at the guys at work who I have crushes on (drunken and non-drunken rants included), friends who actually turn me girlier without comprimising my firm non-bitchy law, and a place to work where, other than one person, I absolutely adore everyone and generally go home happy.

life..is good. At least until next week.

Wedding recap

2006-10-15T11:21:00.000-04:00

Wedding recap
So my brother got married yesterday. Fun stuff I know. It was fun though....or at least the end product was when it was all said and done. lol Where to start ...where to start...

I guess we should start at the begining..I've heard it's a very good place to start. I love my brother but the church and reception were in center city philly which is just the epitome of easy parking and heavenly driving. Fine...we borrowed a GPS system to make it easier. Which promptly went haywire once we arrived in Philly. lol It was like "Go straight on 15th to Latimier" and then out of nowhere it would say "Turn left" and then go back to saying "Go straight on 15th to Latimier" We got there pretty easily though so we parked our car in a parking garage and took a cab to the church. That was the easy part. Actually no...the wedding was pretty easy too. It was gorgeous to say the least. the church was beautiful, the friar was awesome (Nice guy...loved to talk...obsessed with italians. lol) and the ceremony went smoothly. I realized that it wasn't until we got out of the church that things started going wrong..well not wrong..things just started getting funny.

We were taking a cab back to the reception hall and I got ass-raped by a pen in the cab. No....really. I sat down and there was a pen sticking straight up stuck between the seats. Aren't i just the lucky one to sit right on top of it? I'm telling you...I get all the luck. Although luckily it didn't do any damage to the dress since the dress was black lace but it did leave a nice scratch on my bum. So other than having to walk funny all night I don't think I'm in much harm. lol Just a lot of pain. lol

Also i've decided that if I had a penny for everytime someone said "Oh...so you're next" to me last night...I'd be a bagillionare. lol I don't understand why at a wedding, everyone feels the need to badger someone else. lol Did I have a big bullseye on me that said "Oh please please...target me! Please grab me and go on and on about how I have to be next and I better do it soon." sheesh.

Can I ask someone something. Maybe i'm wierd or retarted or what...but since when does a wedding translate too "Let me find the sluttiest dress and pair that with the sluttiest makeup I can find. Not only that but let me cake on said makeup and get a fake tan so that I look orange...yeah.....that'll be awesome!" I lost track of the amount of (in Heidi's words) Hoochie dresses I saw. And why do women feel the need to cake on makeup. I thought greasepaint was outlawed. And do we really need a dress so short that your underwear is showing...not to mention a top so low cut that whatever little boobs you have are at the mercy of you bending over and popping out? Keep in mind that this was coupled with thinck brooklyn accents by IAP's (Italian American Princesses, I swear one woman didn't just have a Louis Vitton bag...she had a Satchel ...it was the freaking goomba convention in town...I love when Italians come out of the woodwork)

My god this is a long blog...and i haven't even gotten to the good parts yet. lol

Ok...so onto the good parts.....my own family...yeah until then I wasn't even talking about my side of the family.....With my side of the family I have decided to employ what I like the call the one answer and ignore technique.. Now this may sound mean but my cousin is a hawk. She doesn't have conversations with you...so interrogates you. This is how she usually talks to me.. right at me and as condiscending as possible....such great conversation pieces that she says EVERYTIME she talks to me include these little gems...

"How's school"
"How many classes?"
"Have you set a date yet?"
"What are you gonna do with your degree?"
"How far are you from Rider?"
"Did you know i'm going there."
"What do you plan to do with your degree?"
"when are you finishing school?"

and so many more....

(Did I mention that this women is NOT my cousin by blood?)

So this year I decided that I would just answer her and continue with the conversation I was having before she interupted me. It worked for the most part. She tried her damndest but she didn't get very far. She tried a lot actually. When Steve (My bro) and Tara ( his fiance/now wife. lol) sat down at their table they had a little table all to themselves so quickly my cousin turns around and goes (all in one breath mind you) "Are you gonna have that at your wedding? Do you like that? What are you gonna have at your wedding? Is that what your cake is gonna look like?" My response....."I don't know" and turned to Dan and kept right on talking to him. Did that detour her...no.....she jumps right in an goes

"Wow....I can't believe that you guys find so much to talk about. It's amazing that you guys have been dating for so long and can still talk to each other...you guys must have soooooooooo much in common"

Yup...that's exactly what she said. I'm sorry if I don't have a loveless marriage like you do where you and your husband just live with vile hatred for each other and all you do is yell at him. And I'm sorry if me and Dan actually find things interesting about each other and we enjoy each others company. There must be something wrong with us.

Although nothing beats what she said when the dances happened. The groom and bride traditionally dance with their respective parents and this was no different. Tara danced with her dad to "Wonderful Tonight" and Steve danced with his mom to "Forever young". Then Tara dedicated Barbara Streisnds "Evergreen" , which was her parents wedding song, to her parents and they danced together. I thought that was so sweet. What does my cousin do..she leans over to my mom and goes (Out of the blue mind you) "I don't know what's more shocking...Steve's dance with his mom or Tara's parents dancing together to their wedding song." My mom....god bless her...leans over to me and goes "What the HELL did that mean?" I'm stumpted,as is everyone else at the table. Heaven help her at my wedding. lol We didn't stay too much longer after that and we headed home. on the we back to the parking garage to pick up our car we passed a drug transaction...nice isn't it? At least they were cuddly drug dealers who asked us how the wedding was. The when we got to the garage we gave the guy our ticket and waited for the car. With a few other girls...DRUNK other girls...who seemed to know the garage guys WAY to well. oh...and a couple in their early 50's who just came from a swingers club. I kid you not. I love philly.

So all in all a pretty good wedding....to say the least. lol I don't wanna do it again for a very long time.

So I went to go see Colin and Brad tonight...

2006-10-13T01:54:00.000-04:00

I love the british Whose Line is it Anyway. No wait...let me rephrase that.....I can tell you which episode of whose line it is just by the first couple seconds when they show who is on. That's how much I love the show, I've been watching it since I was 10. Now that the show is over in England i have to deal with watcing the Drew's line. Not that it's bad, it's just not as funny, the censors are dumb. lol.

Last year though I was given two tickets of joy. lol No......not two tickets to the Bunny ranch. Why that would be two tickets of joy for me I'll never know....but no.....I got two tickets to go see Brad and Colin live in concert..in trenton. I was excited. I really was. lol Two of my favorite whose line people coming to trenton and I was gonna be able to see them. Was it as good as I expected?

YES...emphatically indubitably...yes. Yeah I know I probably spelled indubitally wrong..but that's ok....I know shakespeare dammit..not spelling. Ahem ok getting ahead of myself...Anyway...to put it nicely I nearly peed myself laughing the first time I saw them. The games they played were amazing come on...they did the mousetrap game. lol The last time I had seen that was during the whose line Pay-per-view years ago. Also.....Everyone's confusion over Shamong was really funny. I saw them one more time last year in Atlantic City with Greg Proops and I was not dissapointed.

So where is all this babbling going? Well I just got home from seing them again one more time back in trenton. I laughed, I cried (from laughing), I danced in my seat. lol Some highlights:

Well the mousetrap game was back.....god that game is so violent......let's see...Blidfolds, barefoot, 100 mousetraps, and the alphabet game played backwards....all recipies for hilarity. lol Oh and you can't forget the crotch shots. lol

Oh yeah....psychotic kids during "change" who made poor Brad talk straight for like 10 minutes. lol

The game "Whose line" with Colin ended up having a mom who's a cow (literally), Brad is a crossdresser, and apparently Brad's shlong is huge and there's a funny smell cause Colin farted. And the audience members are perverted idiots (Hey Colin...How's your 'nus'....you know...'penus'). ..Not that there were any better last year(I mean come on...."Would you like to see my breets" Priceless!)

Brad uttering "Port Charles" quickley followed by him burrying his head in his hands and screaming "That's the gayest thing i've ever said!"

And of course....interrogation....ok I know i've missed a lot...like the game where they replaced every 'S' with a 'P' but this is So funny. Interrogation consists of Brad(or Colin..in this case Brad went out) and the audience give suggestions as to what Brad was wearing, what he did, where he was, and what he had with him. Last year this cause the whole Shamong confusion and the infamous "Argentina Dogs". this year was no different......It wasn't so much Brad's guesses, he was really good, it was more what we chose for him......

Ah-hem.....::Flexes knuckles::

"Brad was wearing a clown suit, diaper, and giant french fry suit (cause...ya know...the clown suit wasn't enough), his crime was that he froze a portly llama and illigally farmed Canadians (But...but....they're so cute!) He did this in Nockamixon, PA (Not Rubebellblender) at Stevie T's Strip club. He had with him a beer bottle and a toaster. "

Believe it or not....brad got all of that pretty fast....scary. lol

So that was my night...I'm still euphoric. So in honor.....Classic Whose line!

Ok...for those of you guys that don't believe me that Eddie Izzard was indeed on Whose line....I give you...the creature from...ESSEX!

<>

and if you let this load all the way then skip to the end you'll get to see the Mousetrap game....It's really worth it...warning....do not drink or consume anything while watching that game...it'll be all over you in about two seconds from laughing so hard.

<>

Thanks for ruining my vacation guys...

2006-10-07T14:18:00.000-04:00

those of you that are reading this that work with me...please don't utter a word. I dunno exactly how much work has gone over my head with all this bullshit but I really need to vent this out. So just pretend you don't know what's going on.

I'm on vacation. Granted I go back to work on Sunday but this was still fucked up in my opinon. A really good friend of mine quit a few days ago and I'm so very proud of him for it. He stood up for himself and that's something to be proud of. Now the same day this happened my music manager, who is also friends with him, called me. Keep in mind I'm on my vacation. I was assuming she was calling cause she wanted to hang out or talk about what happened or ANYTHING but work. I didn't wanna hear about work. I wanted to finish my vacation in peace, I mean, that's why i went on vacation. No...what does she call to me...she calls to tell me that the other music lead got promoted to music manager, she got promoted to department manager and I got promoted to Cash office. If this had been a few months ago I would have been thrilled...happy...excited, you might say. But this promotion came at the expense of a friend leaving and I wasn't really given a choice. Not only was a not given a choice..the news was delivered to me kinda cold. I know that the position needed to be filled but it was told to me so cold....as in "Ah..I have good news...Mel got promoted, I got promoted, and you're going to the cash office" There was no "take your time to decide" or "If you really want it" or "I'm really sorry about what happened: none of that. it was just Boom here's the info and there's nothing you can do about it. This might be mean but I wouldn't be shocked that when I go back to work Donald is made *surprise surprise* the new lead. They've been wanting to do that forever. And this couldn't wait till I came back to work why?? Yeah I thought so.

So yeah...I was kinda pissed but that wasn't the worst part. I get ANOTHER call from my music manager last night. First of all it was during a hockey game which unless you're on my good side do not bother me during a hockey game. Second of all I didn't pick up. So she left a message. The message? Oh yeah by the way starting next week you're gonna train for cash office...with Dara.

Gee...thanks for ruining my vacation.....again

At least while I'm in the cash office there will be no Panic! at the Disco.
And heaven help her if she try to cross me.

Valeria's Inferno

2006-09-10T23:58:00.000-04:00

I really had a flash of genius tonight. LOL Don't ask me why but for some reason I was inspired to write a blog about the customers we have in B&N and place them all into levels of hell according to Dante. Except...I would write my own version of Dante's inferno.....in a limerick...that's right....Dante's beautiful writing has been turned into a limerick. Although....what's more "vulgar" than Limericks? I tried to rhyme everything pretty well...some words I made up....Um...we'll call it poetic liscense....sure...whatever works. lol So here goes.......

Valeria's Inferno -or- La Commedia Dell'Barnes and Noble

In the middle of my lead position,
I felt like I had a mission.
A story should I craft
To give my co-workers a laugh
And so Ive made this submission

The story of hell should I write
But with a twist on it thats just right.
Bout the customers we serve
And how theyre so absurd
If they read it, it would give them a fright

I have no need for a guide
For I know all the horrors inside.
A trip down to Dante's hell,
Is still better than Barnes and Nob-el.
So sit back and enjoy the ride

COME THROUGH ME TO THE SORROWFUL CITY
COME THROUGH ME AND FORGET ABOUT PITY
EVERY LAST DOPE
MUST ABANDON ALL HOPE
WHEN THEY PASS ON INTO ETERNITY

The first circle's Limbo they say.
Filled with people who stay here all day.
They never leave the store,
We find them such a bore,
We dont really care about them anyway.

People who forget their B&N cards are next.
We have to look them up by their phone numbers, that's best
They don't wanna be patient
And are certainly not complacent
So they give us their numbers so fast we're perplexed

The third circles filled with letters
All jumbled up under their own headers
Cause people can't spell
Thats why they're in hell
Cause they're not master Alpha-baters

The fourth circle has doors that are closed
While the people inside are decomposed
They never left on time
Thought they were real fine
Now they'll never be unopposed

We came to the River Latte
Where people were ordering their coffee
They were really annoying
And so we sat there throwing
Venti cups filled with liquid hot toffee

In the next circle we saw a huge line
Filled with nuns, soccer moms, and Devine
They used to be line cutters
Now each one of them utters:
"Where do I think Im going I have plenty of time."

The next circle came in three parts
With children spanning the charts
Each one of them's annoying
God my age must be showing
Cause I feel like kicking each of them in the arse

The first has teenagers with no taste in music
If I have to hear Panic! at the Disco anymore I'm gonna lose it.
They like bands who are shitty
And fuck its a pity
I can't think of anything else to write that is witty

The second are kids who hang out after movies
They think they've got bigger balls than Scooby's
They think they're so cool
My god they're such tools
To punch them would be a civic duty

And last but not least we have the worst
These are the kids who should be cursed
Those things are called wheelies
And sometimes I get the feelies
To trip them so their faces do burst

The eight circle had customers who were too much
Like ones who were demanding and such
Split into ten sets were they
Each bad in their own way
No wonder the workers drink so much

The first set were people who couldn't wait
They wanted their books right on that date
No matter what we could say
They wanted it to-day
And getting books slammed in their head is now their fate

The second were people who complained
That our prices were out of their price-range
They threatened not to pay
Like we really gave a shit anyway
They just seemed really terribly deranged

Thirdly were the people who behaved
Like we should be treated like their slaves
The shelves looked like they were hit with grenades
And now THEY were the maids
Even the men looked like cross-dressing knaves

In the next set were the people who complained about online prices
And how the prices in the store just didnt suffice 'em
They wanted the stuff today
But they didnt wanna pay
Thats when were allowed to say fuck, eh!

Next the people who the concept of Strict on Sales put them in sorrow
Like He-Man they wanted have the power
Now in hell they dont know
And they sit and sigh in woe
Cause the stuff is always coming out "tomorrow"

People in this set were kinda bossy
They acted as if they were hotsy - totsy
They thought they knew more than us
So much so that they make a fuss
And in reality they talked out of their arsey

Set seven had the people who we liked to call 'tolders'
Cause they always said they were gonna go to Borders
If we cant get it man
What the hell makes you think they can?
They're such hippies there they'd probably forget your orders.

Each book has a title and author, maybe a feller
But some people just cant be bothered to remember
Now these people are in hell
And they scream and yell
Cause they're on the hunt for the book with the cover that is yellow.

Masters of everything we cannot be
But thats what the people in set nine used to see
Now they understand
Their heads are so crammed
But their brains are smaller than a pea

Customers who told us we never have enough registers are in this level
They are close but not too close to the devil
Now they have a basket of stuff
And no one to help them enough
The fact that now they really cant get help is enough to make us revel

The last level of hell was the place to be
With no receipt returns as far as the eye can see
Now the tables are turned
And these customers are burned
Cause they have to wait in line for eternity......times three

With my journey through hell complete
You could see why this was such a laborious feat
Too much writing was required
I cant believe this poem I sired
Now I'm fucking going to get some sleep.

Wikipedia is GOD!

2006-08-07T23:33:00.000-04:00

Just cause I love torturing Ryan and scarring her for life..here is one more!

Enjoy!
Yeah!

Haikuuuuukie-crisp

2006-08-06T01:07:00.000-04:00

Yes dammit you heard me right.....I wrote a Haiku. At work...at 11:00 at night. lol We were closing and me and Becca saw this pigeon feather on the floor and she was like "Uh..it looks like we have a feather on the floor" to which I responded (in epic voice of course) "YES! But we know not from where hence it came for there was no bird in this store tonight!" And we both started laughing and Becca was like "That almost sounded like a Haiku" and therefore I came up with one. I mean come on...you can't lay down the challange and then not expect me to accept. Geez. lol

ok....Becca thought it was the greatest thing she's ever heard.. Ben shook his head at me and made me go add another mark on the who's dorkier board, and I think I saw John actually cracked a halfhearted giggle at me....... be amazed.......

Ah-hem......

A. Haiku
By Valeria Ballerini

Feather in the Store.
From Where it Comes We Know Not.
Perplexing. Quandary

Yes I know....you may all cheer. I actually was made to write it on a B&N business card. lol Now it's in my name tag.

I....am....a.....genuis...

I think way to much....

2006-08-04T02:24:00.000-04:00

Current Obsession: City Of Villians.....LOVE this MMORPG. Come on...it's so much fun being a bad guy...ah...girl...a bad girl. lol Fully customizable and you get a costume...I look like an evil Ulala and it's fantabolous. Yeah you heard me....FANTABOLOUS!

Currently trying to beat: Destroy all humans. I'm about halfway through. Amazing game though. I can't wait for the second one. Hysterical...think Mars Attacks meets Jack Nicholson. I also still have to beat ICO. If the last boss level wasn't just so damn hard. Then I can play Shadow of the collosus. That counts for MGS 2. Before any puking and Snake banana action happens I still need to see Naked Ryden dammit.

Excited about: Other than Snakes on a plane? Trailer Park Boys: the movie. I need this damn movie to come out in the states. I need to see the continuous story of a man and his love of pepperoni. Oh...and Bubbles on the big screen is just WAY to cool. Randy on the big screen....not so much.

Listening to: Jazz... I've been going through such a Jazz kick. Ella Fitzgerald, Glenn Miller...etc. I dunno. that'll probably change next week but for right now I can't get enough of it. Also the Jersey Boys soundtrack.

Funniest story of the week: I'm going to hell...a nun tried to cut in line and when I pointed that out to her she looked at me and was like.."But I'm a nun" when i refused to allow her to cut she huffed and said "you much not be Catholic" to which I laughed (12 years of catholic school thank you very much) and she left the store saying "That's ok...God looks after his own" So she wants to cut the line and I'm going to hell. Oh well...

Worst saddest moment: Kid around the age of 10 walks into the music department and askes me if we had Green Day cd's. I took him over to the section and asked him which one he was looking for. He told me that he was looking for their first cd, Dookie. I handed it too him and then realized that I actually remember when that cd was released. Not only that I remember when the cd's before that were released...their indie stuff......God I feel old.....

I've come across a quandry..

I was watching TV (that's always a great way to have a story started....."I was watching tv one day"...At least I didn't start with "I was drinking the other day and I got to thinkin..." that's when you know to run) and I realized something. Why are mundane items advertised? I can understand if something is new and improved or if the company has put out a new item. I can understand advertising that so that people will know these new products. But I can't get it through my head commercials for things like toilet paper and toothpaste. I don't know about anyone else but I think that there doesn't seem to be brand loyalty anymore like there was in times gone by. At one time brands actually ment something and people were very strict about what they bought. I think nowadays more than anything people will buy what's on sale moreso than what brand is there or what product had the coolest commercial, at least for daily inconsequential household items.

If that's the case why don't companies advertise how much cheeper they are than the compitition? And even if, for example, there is brand loyalty (I myself to indeed fall prey to this...colgate is the only toothpaste in my bathroom and ketchup and mayo of course will always be Heinzs and Hellmans) why do you need commercials? Are the people that are on the fence about their products that numerous? I would think that I don't need to know about Colgate or any other brand that might exists because more than likely I'm gonna buy Colgate anyway. Now don't get me wrong. I love the commercials for snickers, Milkey Way (Why so blue Panda Bear?) and the new Sprite but it's not gonna change my mind when I'm in the mood for a Pepsi. I'm not gonna suddenly start buying sprite because their commercials were cool. Hell I'm gonna keep buying RC of course! Mwhahaha Soda companies...you forgot about that brand didn't you? No one advertises RC cola anymore and yet I buy it because I like it the best. No other commercial is gonna make me curious if I'm not in the mood for it. That goes with candy too. I know what Snickers taste like. Or Twix. If i'm in the mood for either of those I will eat them reguardless of their commercials. The point is that for mundane things a commercial will not change my mind. So why waste the expensive airspace for it?

I think I'm more of a psych major than i like to let on....I'm so damn jaded...

Pinball! It's all the rage!

2006-07-24T14:49:00.000-04:00

I am scarred for life.....no seriously...scarred. Forget Mr. Grey Spaceman and Chip the black boy. I think this is extreame fetal position in the corner crying fuel. What is this terror and horror....none other than The Who's Tommy.

Ok....first of all.....it was on the Free OnDemand movies....so it was free....second......it is not my fault...here's how it went down...

Val: Let's see what free movies there are on Demand
Dan: Ok cool
Val: Hey look! The lady Vanishes. Wanna see that?
Dan: Maybe. Hey look there's the Birdcage
Val: Ohhh maybe.....
Dan: Hey! Tommy!
Val: Cool!
Dan: Let's watch that.

Ok...so it wasn't COMPLETELY Dan's fault but I'm gonna blame him anyway. Keep in mind this is the same man who keeps trying to get me to watch Van Helsing. Kate Beckinsale....leather.....not my thing......pervs....

What has now transpired for the past...oh hour and a half (and there is still like another 30 minutes left to watch) is two people shivering in the corner just going....."This makes no sense!" "Does this make sense to you cause it makes no sense to me!" Although I have also come to realize what I would love to do....I would love to do commentary for bad movies. Not for any reason just because i find it funny. I mean come on.......The Who singing, Elton John...singing....with big boots....and a beenie that looked like someone's mom knitted it, Ann-margret just pretty much speaking the lyrics (I swear she was like a sexy William Shatner...if Shatner had gotten the breathless thing down....he would have been GOD) and to top it all off.....Jack Nicholson singing.......I mean come on...I know he wrote "Head" but did he have to sing? At least I'm convinced he's singing. We're not sure. But I say yes. All that's missing is David Bowie bursting through the walls and looking around and jump back out again. But from a different wall. He needs to make two holes in the wall. LOL It's bad enough sober can you imagine if you had gone to see this in the movie theather? STONED?? I actually have taken brain cells and tried to make sense of the movie.....I got a headache....

::shudder::.....again.........

I'm gonna go watch Harold and Kumar...at least that makes sense....

And just because I'm a kind soul........SNAKES ON A PLANE!

So what have we learned today?

2006-07-19T23:11:00.000-04:00

So today my best friend came down for one last visit before she abandons me and leaves for North Carolina (Just kidding I know you're not abandoning me, I just like to lay the italian guilt trip on thick sometimes). I really am gonna miss her so so much but we had our one day together before she left. Just the two of us..being girly. And we FINALLY went bridal dress shopping. Actually we went bridal dress shopping after a humongo lunch (excellent by the way), good friend talk and of course a trip to barnes and noble. And we ended up going maid of honor shopping and bridesmaids dress shopping. lol

Here's what we learned:
* Polka dots.......NOT good when lined up next to one another
* One of our friends...still crazy
* Her boyfriend....still psychotic
* B&N....LOVES to make you stick around for 45 minutes and then not tell you why. lol (j/k Luv ya Laurie)
* It is IMPOSSIBLE to find a nice simple bridesmaids dress that's not overpriced and rewearable
* I don't want my bridesmaids looking like the Paris Hiltons of tommorow...or mermaids with their asses hanging out.
* Bri....three hours later and we were STILL giggling over the joke about my bracelet.
* Lettuce green is my new obsession.

What else have we learned? Well that I can show you in slideshow form...yea!!

Rules Rules...nothing but Rules

2006-06-19T12:53:00.000-04:00

Last time...on the "Ruled and the ruleless" Jane defied the rules by asking John for a dance and later end up sliced in half accidentilly by a circular saw. In today's thrilling installment we'll cover rules 3-6 and see that not blinking at a man could drive him away, paying even half for a date is aborhous and hanging up on a man makes him want you more. Be sure to join us......

Whoa..ok ok ok I think this book is getting to my head. Now I'm starting to talk in Soap Opera voice-over. I better do these before I get any worse.....

Rule #3: Don't stare at men or talk to much

What?!?! Staring at men will drive them away? Surely you're wrong! I thought looking wide-eyed and emptied just made them want you more! But I wanna have a staring contest with the future man that's gonna propose to me after our first date. And by the way is it breaking the rules if you are playing the staring game.... cause technically the whole point. The internal struggle!

Although how can you lose with this little word of advice:

"On the first date, (Ok...remember first date. Not after dating for years oh no...the very first date) avoid staring romantically into his eyes (As opposed to staring romantically to any other part of his face...I like the earlobe, so can I stare romantically at the earlobe?). Otherwise, he will know that you're planning the honeymoon."

Remeber what I said? This is the very first date. Why are you planning the honeymoon on the first date?!? Granted I knew I loved my fiance after our first date but (and no offense honey) it took more than one date before I realized that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. How solid is a marriage based on one date?

This is the best though...they even tell you what to do so that you don't stare at him... "Instead, look down at the table or at your food, or simply survey the crowd at the restaurant. It's best to seem generally interesting in life, in orthers, in your surrounding, in the paintings on the walls, as opposed to this live prey."

There are SO many problems with this sentance. Ok...so I'm supposed to completely ignore my date? I'm supposed to look at everything around my date except my date. If I were any guy and my date did that i would think that there was something wrong with me. Or that I was boring. Or that my date was checking out someone else. But then again when you're always looking around for live "Prey", you probably are checking out someone else. Who calls a man prey unless it's being used with "child molesting". That's so condiscending and derogatory. But then again he is technically prey in this mindset cause you are only after one thing...a wedding ring. It's still wrong though.

Oh and don't talk on a date. "Remember, men fall in love with your essence, not with anything in particular you say." BAM! sorry couldn't help it. But he is falling in love with your essence. BAM! dammit there I go again. Sorry. Because what you say isn't important. Because we are dumb. Because men should do all the talking. Wow.....that's a fun date....I can picture it now....

::Wayne's world flashback noises and hand motions::

John: So Jane, what do you do for a living?

Jane: ::looking down at her food:: (Janes thoughts: "and then we'll have two kids and a 4 bedroom 2 story house and I will show off my 10 carat engament ring because I was able to snag a husband and all the other girls are spinsters)

John: Uh, do you like to read?

Jane: ::Checking out the other patrons at the restaurant:: (Jane's thoughts: "and my dress is gonna be white with diamonds on them cause it's my day and no one and I mean no one is going to ruin it becuase I'm a princess and we're gonna get married in a big church and daddy will pay for it because I'm his little girl and I deserve it)

Actually...I'm getting pains from writing this so I'm gonna stop and move on to Rule #4, but you get the point.

Rule #4 : Don't meet him halfway or go dutch on a date.

A) It's not nice to castrate the Dutch like that from a menu. I mean what if she's Dutch or he's dutch and they like Dutch. Then can't they just go Dutch? And can I use the word "Dutch" in the sentance one more time?

B) Meet him halfway? Isn't it easier to just sit across from each other at the table. There'd be no yelling across the restaurant in that case.

But seriously, there are parts of this rule that make sense. Not what's explicitly written but if after the dinner the man looks at you and goes "can you spot the check" that's not really fair either. And a red flag that this is not going to good. If something happens accidentally that's different. Plus anyway. Why should the guy spend all of his hard-earned money on you? Isn't the date for the both of you? Are you the only one who's eating?

Do you know why this is? It's because "The Rule is that men are supposed to rearrange their schedules around you, pursue you, take cabs and trains to see you." Because you're much more important than him. Honestly...who the hell do you think you are?? You selfish, self-absorbed bitch.

Although the rules does tell you what to do if you're not completely self-absobed and think of him once in a while: "But if part of you feels uncomfortable about him paying for everything, offer to leave the tip, ( It doesn't say pay the tip, mind you, just offer) or if the night is a long one - say, dinner, a show and three cab rides or parking - pay for something small along the way. But don't pay for anything on the first three dates. Later on you can recipricate in your own way: cook him dinner at your place or buy him a baseball cap." Yeah cause a 20 dollar baseball cap is really gonna make up for the freaking 1200$ bucks he spent on you on the three dates to schlop your lazy ass around.

I was gonna do some more rules but I think I'll continue tommorow. lol I don't know if I can sit here for another three hours. lol So stay tuned for the continuing installments of....The ruled...and the ruleless!

I've never been one to follow the rules.......

2006-06-16T14:19:00.000-04:00

I found something absolutely horrendous on the book shelf yesterday. I had always heard of this book but I didn't really think that it existed. At least not if four million different copies. I always thought it was a book that had existed in a time long ago, when women still weren't sure how to balance their need for love and power. I had thought that this book had gotten shelved under many a bed since then. I had thought (Or at least hoped ) that women weren't this petty or manipulative. I had hoped it was just a sterotype. I was wrong. And this book still does exist, oh god does it exist. It exists in original form, and in hardback and in special edition with diagrams.....yes...diagrams. What is this book you ask? Glad you did ask...it was getting kinda hard to keep writing "this book" all the time. ......I'm talking about the book "the Rules".

That's right...I am now a proud owner of "The Rules". Oh! and "The Rules II: Electric Boogaloo" Becuase in case you're so miserably inept in this surefire way to get a husband, we've contradicted ourselves that The Rules are the only thing you need and made a sequal....with more rules...LOTS more rules.....

Now you're question may this this...why, would a girl who usually wants to shakes girls till their heads fall off buy such Devil's Handiwork? Well..duh...they make me laugh...they make me laugh just like the girls who buy the econo-size wedding planners because it's "her" day and snicker at me when I show them my engagement ring that's more elaborate than their 30 poud rock on a plain band.

The 30% discount at work doesn't hurt either.....

And in a sick way, I've been curious if these books are really just that bad. The answer.....

MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...woo sorry let me just wipe this tear from my eye....let me compose myself and try that again. OK..you know what, shit, I can't talk about this book with a straight face. I mean come on they have made fucking RULES for getting a husband. Not loving mind you...nope the whole purpose of this book is to get a man to propose to you by the first date. Simply tagging a husband.

First off, this is a cult that you get brainwashed into....Don't believe me...let me read you some fun passages.....
Here are some fun sentances like:

"Don't expect to get them (The Rules) right the first time or everytime. We didn't. We broke rules, got hurt and then eventually got serious and did the Rules as they are written" (Lena said there will be pain.....)

Oh...or how about this little gem.....

"it's not fun to break The Rules! You could easily end up alone" (anyone else getting a sinister vibe from this one.) I got chills.

and the best one......

"Be friends with only Rules-minded girls. Anyone that it's a rules-girl will only discourage you"

Hmmm...let's see: Threats, Brainwashing, like-mindedness....Yup...sounds like a cult to me.

The more I read it though, the more I relize that their rules seems to be common sense. Just not to this extreme. Yes....it's common sense to not blurt everything about yourself out on a first date..or to know some tact when it comes to what to say. But this is downright manipulation...

There are 35 Rules plus 12 hints. 35! There is so much that one's jaw just drops at that I'm gonna spread this over a bunch of days. There is just THAT much that offends me about this. But I think the worse about this book and mindset...is that women still follow it. I've seen women act like this and they don't realize just how foolish they really are. Paranoid and smacking of desperation (Which, funny enough the book is vehement about not exuding). They just act mean and manipulative.

I've never been one to think of myself as pretty. But for some reason I do pretty damn good. While I didn't date around I still seem to attract men. Just by being myself. Rules? I don't need no stinkin rules! To the rules girls....I'm an abomination. Personally...I just think I follow my own rules.

The Rules....

Rules #1: Be a "Creature unlike any other"

Now this rule kinda sucks you into a false sense of security. It sounds normal enough....it LOOKS normal enough. It's about being confident....that's cool. I like that. Be confident in your own skin. But is that how you're really supposed to feel? Hell no according to the Rules! Which is like "According to Jim" but not as bad. You're only supposed to pretend you feel that way. Phsaw...forget really feeling that way. If you really felt that way you would need "The Rules" They don't want you to really feel that way. Just pretend.

Rule #2: Don't talk to a man First (And don't ask him to Dance)

Ok this rule is just stupid. LOL But I guess when you're money hungry and just want a man for husbandry you want to be aloof so he'll come after you. I know I'll repeat this is the days to come but if I were a guy and some girl that I really liked feigned like she didn't care, I think I would get bored and lose interest. Or think she really wasn't that into me and I'd go find someone else. But I liike how in this rule they start about the first of many bringing down women who scoff at this book: "Some of the smartest women think that they are toop educated or talented to be passive, play games or do The Rules (Play games?? Can we play Clue? I like Clue. Rule women don't play games....they just act like a bitch...oh wait...I don't think they're acting...oh well). They feel their diplomas and paychecks entitle tem to more in life than waiting for the phone to ring."

Everyone is entitled to more to life than waiting for the phone to ring....and wait...isn't this just after the book has told me that I'm supposed to play hard to get and stay busy? I need to lie down I'm confused...oh no wait...I'm only supposed to pretend to be busy so he doesn't know I've really just been sitting next tot he phone about to slit my wrists if he doesn't call because I've already planned out what our wedding will look like...my mistake..

But here's the best part...." These women, we assure you, alwaysend up heartbroken when they are rebuffed"

Really? Is this like a 100% guarentee that you're giving me? No? But you're assuring me this. Oh...you're just telling me this to make me feel better and lead me into a false sense of security? Big shock.

Although the best part of this book is that they always give example of girls who defied the rules, breaking them and the hedious consequences they're recieved because of it. Instilling fear is it not? Defy the rules and terrible things may happen to you. It's like the calico colored guinae pig who will eat your kidney if you don't watch Midnight Spank on G4. Just not as cuddly....

this is just the first two rules...and these are NORMAL compared to the rest.....So stay tuned I'll get through them all.....

For Ryan....

2006-05-21T03:13:00.000-04:00

The monstrocities I see online almost make me wanna be a recluse. lol So in order to bring Ryan MORE into the dark side (With cookies of course!) I'm posting the little gems I'm found in my online travels.

First is the completely SCARY christian scientist show. lol Be afraid

Next is this.....so if you ever hear me going WAAAAAAAA? you'll now know why

My name is John Daker........

I SO want this guy to be my preacher.....

Ok...now remember when I was telling you about Sondra Prill? WITNESS THE MAGIC!

Please enjoy... and don't hit me. lol

Anyone else.....

2006-05-20T13:33:00.000-04:00

Wanna see Jack Black and Jack White either go on tour together or be in a movie together? I sweer I'd love to make a movie called Black and White (yeah...based on the video game...kinda sorta) It'd be an odd concept for a video based movie but I just want an excuse to put these two guys in a movie together. And Jack Black could be god and Jack White would be the devil.

This is Genuis!

Perhaps i've had too much caffine?

Da Winki, Blinky and Nod.

2006-05-19T22:22:00.000-04:00

Yes....I admit it....I gave in....I went to go see the Da Vinci Code today.

I've read the book, been studying the theory since I was 13 and drooled over the trailer since the day I saw it.

Was it good. Did it live up to the hype? Hell yeah....well I mean..if you like NBC mystery movie.

I was amazed the people that thought this was going to be a religious, eye-opening experiance. They were expecting "The Passion of the Christ" and instead wound up with Philip Marlow does religion. There-in lies my whole problem with people and this book. It is not a religious book. Everyone tends to forget that the main point of this book, at it's center, is a murder that needs to be solved. It's not an epic, it's a freakin murder mystery fiction. Dan Brown just happened to have picked a framing device (innocently, I think) that struck a chord with people and caused a sensation. All of a sudden people have become experts in something they know nothing about and it irks me to no end. Just becaue you've read the book does not make you a scholar on the theory, especially if you haven't done other research.

No...people forgot that this book is a work of fiction and that the actual theory is mearly a plot line for the whodunit.

I ADORED the movie. I thought it was fantastic. Beautiful filming with haunting music and a downright honest "edge of your seat" murder mystery suspense feel to it. Was it perfect? Not really, no movie is really perfect, but it got it's message across. I actually found humor in the fact that Ron Howard added scenes that "apologized". Actually it wasn't so much apologizing it was more like Ron Howard was letting people know "Um...Helloooo....work of fiction here....faith is based on what you believe it to be. No one religion is perfect.....SO BACK OFF!"

I think everyone should go see it with the mindset that it's a really cool, old-school detective murder mystery. And nothing else. Is it a movie about faith? Sure. But it's about the characters themselves and how each of them deal with faith based on what they learn. If anything religious is taken from the movie hopefully it's a peaked interest in the Magdelene theory just like I had when I was 13 and played Gabriel Knight. Then...and ONLY then can you make up your own mind, just please don't rely on a movie or a book to do it for you.

Look at it...love it....puke all over it...

2006-05-19T02:14:00.000-04:00

Yes....you see it right... I came across this gem in a cookbook I aquired a week ago. I don't think that i have ever actually seen something that made me regurgitate in my mouth...that I'm actually not eating.

Yes this picture may seem innocently disgusting enough, I mean it's like an explotion of the contents found in someone's stomach. It's the actual descriptions that truly make this horror in Technicolor.

Let me start with the description found behind the picture on the next page, which by the way gets the recipie ttle wrong. The actual recipe is "Scampi Salad in Melon" but teh description of the recipe retitles it Crab Meat saladin Melon. Keep in mind that there is NO crb meat found in here although as you will see there is a disgusting little surprise. Something that REALLY doesn't beloing. At all. No really. ok ok..here' is a description...

"Select the prettiest melons you can find, for this dish is to be the crown jewel of you cold buffet (If this was the corwn jewel I'd hate to see Queen Elizabeth wearing this at the next royal party). It is best the choose honeydew melons or cantaloupe (Reguardless of the fact that they used a watermelon), with their golden colored flesh. But you can also use a watermelon (Dammit now that you've already told me it's best to use honeydew!), whose bright red flesh has a neutral flavour and goes well with all marinades and types of mayonaise dressing (Yes cause I always think of mixing melons of any kind with mayo). For the stuffing, take tinned fruits cut into large cubes, scampi, shrimp or lobster meat (but no crab meat mind you considering this is called a CRAB meat salad in melon), mushrooms, candied sliced walnuts and red cherries for a touch of colour (That will wonderfully match the vomit on the walls after you smell this stuff). Stripes of scaled green and red pepper and of sweet gherkin are also fine additions (Essentially....throw shit on top of this thing, no one will know the difference) If the stuffed melon is to be used as dessert, leave out all the salty and fish ingrediants (isn't that everything but the peppers? Ewww); mix the others with maraschino liquer (this way your guests will be so drunk they wont know what the hell they're eating), as with other fruit salads, and serve with orange cream (Which goes PERFECT with melon).

If you've still got the brass balls to make this you can turn to page 412 (Which is like NO WHERE near the picture) and get the recipe for this delectible dish. After about it takes you an hour to realize where exactly the recipe is on the page considering there is "Scampi Salad in Melon" and "Crab Meat Cocktail" both on the page. LOL Methinks the editor wasn't paying attention that day....or he actually had eaten this after taking the picture as was close to dying. I vote the latter. So you get a comfy chair and settle in and start reading the ingrediants in this. Let me list them for you and tell me when you get to something that's WRONG.

1 or 2 honeydew melons
1 cup pineapple bits
2 peeled, sliced apples
1 peeled, cubed orange (How do you cube an orange?)
1 peeled, sliced lemon
1 cup scampi
1 green pepper
1/2 cup mushroom heads
1/2 cup maraschino cherries
1 cup sugar
1 tbsp water
juice of 1 lemon
juice of 1 ornage
2 tbsp of marachino liqueur
1 tbsp ginger juice (Now...you may think it's this but it is not...although this is pretty damn wierd)
1 tbsp crushed peppermint leaves
1/2 cup candied black walnuts
ok...wait for it.......
ready.......
1 cup ox tongue

ok...now I beg of you....look at this picture...study it...love it...ok well maybe don't love (Mostly because it looked like someone loved all over it already) it but you get the idea....

I see no ox tongue...or anything that remotely LOOKS like ox tongue...and this frightens me becuase I also cannot find any mention of ox tongue anywhere in the recipe......

Personally i think they wanted to see some overly valium-ed housewife put a whole ox-tongue in this melon. Preferably sticking straight up. Some sort of sick twisted joke that no one ever caught.

And people wonder why I love the 50's

Like.......that's hot

2006-05-14T02:31:00.000-04:00

It's funny... I always knew deep down inside that to get what you wanted in life you had to be attractive. I guess I had just always hoped that people weren't as shallow as that. I'm starting to learn that I give too many people credit.

Life is lived the easy way if you're pretty to look at.

If you don't believe me just listen to any of the conversations that take place within the music department. I never minded being in a men's club there. Hell I'm one of the only girls that actually work in music. Jeff must have had enough faith in me to hold my own. But the more I work with men the more I come to realize that a girl who is smart and has a personality are fucked. Or not fucked as the case may be. Some people in the store get special tretment and whatever they want just because most of the men think they're hot. Not to mention that I've been repeatedly told that they don't like women who are smarter than them.

ok...so let me get this straight.....smart women....oops nope sorry cause having intelligent conversations are a no-no. Give me a dumb ditzy girl...casue they're just cute. And if your pretty holy shit the pathway is open to you my friends.

So people are just as shallow as I always thought them to be, I was just naive enough to hope for better than that. Should I let it bother me? Not really but deep down inside it does bother me quite a bit.

I'm not an idiot....I know that i'm not exactly attractive or nice to look at. At least not by traditional standards. I've never gotten special attention or praise for my looks, usually the opposide is the case. Things have never come easily to me. I don't get spcial attention just because some guy thought I was pretty. Does that make me vain? Perhaps, but sometimes it's nice to feel like you're found attractive by more than just one person. Maybe that makes me super vain.

Maybe I ask for too much.

It's funny. I was looking back on the people that I looked up to as a kid and I realized something. Madeline Khan, Gilda Radner and Vincent Price were self-depricating and I follow this path. I think it's becuase it's like something Gilda said. You make fun of yourself before others have a chance to make fun of you. It can't hurt you if you say it about yourself first....

Or maybe it hurts you more....

Dear Barnes and Noble customers...

2006-05-13T01:23:00.000-04:00

Dear valued Barnes and Noble customer,

I would like to bring to your attention some new rule changes that will be occuring in our store in the next couple of days.....Please be sure to follow them accordingly.

Rule #1: When asked for a Barnes and Noble membership card please do not reply "yes" and then stare blankly for 10 minutes. We are not mindreaders, unless you tell us we are not sure if you actually have the card on you or just need to give us your phone number. If you refuse to do this we will be forced to have a staring contest.

Rule #2: We need to push a few buttons before we can happily search for the Barnes and Noble card by your phone number. Please do not drop your merchandise and blurt out your phone number. If this is done we cannot be responsible for the amount of times you are asked to repeat said number.

Rule #3: When one of our cashiers say "I can help the next person down here" please do not drop your books at the register of your choice and stare blankly. Our cashiers are not Jedi masters and do not have the force within them. We cannot mentally move your books nor can we switch registers just because you can't move your fat ass down one register.

Rule #4: Our music sellers will be able to assist you with any music questions that you may have in our music department but they unfortuantely cannot help you on the book floor and vice versa. No amount of stomping of your feet and whining may change that, it may just make your inevitable beating much worse. We cannot be responsible for the questions asked in cafe for we have a strict "don't ask don't tell" about their violent tendancies.

Rule #5: We cannot make merchadise magically appear simply because you decided to wait till the last hour to write your school paper. We would be happy to pull it out of your ass though, if you would be patient with us.

Rule #6: Please do not throw money down on our counter. Our cashiers have palms made especially for holding onto money and no cooties will be exchanged during your purchase. If in fact you do throw money on the counter you will no be able to complain as the change comes whizzing past your head in an Odd Job manner. It is only fair.

Rule #7: Merchadise actually needs to be rung up before your credit card can be swiped. Throwing books into our hands does not magically ring it up for we do not have scanners built into our palms. Also....the store is not magically dissapearing, an itchy trigger finger will get you out of the store no faster than usual. In fact be prepared to wait longer as our cashiers are trainer to take twice as long the more impatient you get.

Rule #8: When paying please do not reach over and grab the recipt off of our registers. our registers have spring-loaded bear traps that are designed to chop your hands off. Please leave it to the professionals.

Rule #9: Teenagers, your mothers may be your maids but we are not. Please do not enter our store 5 minutes before closing and proceed to take every cd and/or book out of it's bay and leave them around. We are now allowed to cut off both hands and shove them into your mouth for the first offense. We plan on not seeing second offenders.

Rule #10: Mother, this store is not your own personal babysitter. Please do not leave your child to wander unattented just so you may get your double mocha coffe with skim (I said skim not whole you stupid people) milk in a venti cup while you talk on your cell phone. We don't care if your child get abducted, you deserve it.

Rule #11: Our store closes at 11 pm. Monday-Saturday. This does not mean 11:10, 11:20 and not even 11:01. Please come into the store at a resonable time and have curtesy for our workers. From now on at proptly 11:01 we turn a blind eye on the consequestes on your thinking you are the mosty important person in the world and we are your servants. We do not take the blame on what is done to your person after our doors officially close.

There are a few new rules for our Cafe as well....

Rule #1: This is not your living room. Please do not act surprised when you are robbed becuase you've left your purse open an unattended for the past 5 hours. We don't give a shit

Rule #2: At no time will you EVER throw anything at the cafe workers. you are the not the center of the universe and our workers are allowed to retaliate and throw things back. Be warned they will be sharp....very sharp

Rule #3: Please refrain from being on your cell phone while in line in our cafe. If you are you will be forced to go back to the end of the line and ignored for the length of your phone call.

Rule #4: Please do not complain that we cannot make what you want. We use machines to make your beverages and sometimes they may break. Once again we are not Jedi's in the cafe and therefore cannot magically prepare your coffee.

Rule#5: Our coffee is freshly brewed on a regular basis. It is hot. If your taste buds are damaged it is not the staff's fault for you being a dickhead. Learn to make your own damn coffee and be on your way.

and finally....

Rule #6: Unless you are lactose intolerant.....SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THE MILK. Do not nitpick about a double frap skim, no whole, no part, no nevermind skim. If you do we will be allowed to replace your milk with arsenic. You'll never know the difference.

We hope that you will abide by these new rules and take these changes to heart....We most certainly will...

Thank you,
Barnes and Noble

Random thoughts of the night...

2006-05-10T02:06:00.000-04:00

I can't sleep and I was crusing YouTube, mostly becaue I'm addicted and obsessed with finding obscure things when I came across something that got me thinking.

I guess first off I should tell everyone what I came across. On a lark I typed in "Playboy After Dark" and got back two gems. The young Greatful Dead and Brenton Wood.

I got to thiking. Everyone will put every little thing on DVD, every crappy little itty bitty show but why won't anyone put Playboy After Dark and Playboy's Penthouse on DVD?

You know..people may forget but Playboy at one point was a leader in pop-culture. They were the forerunner in new hip music and movies and stars. And JAZZ. Amazing Jazz. Playboy was amazing in the 60's and these two shows were the entertainment sections come to life, showcasing up and coming talents that would become legends in the music and movie industries. It was also one of the first shows to feature singers of all races. If i'm not mistaken it was the first show to showcase black performers and be intigrated. Why not put these on dvd instead of freakin' Designing women?

God I'm so wierd......

I might as well do something constructive with this......

2006-05-08T23:00:00.000-04:00

I mean..... I DO work at B&N and it DOES have benifits. ok it has a lot of benifits but one of the great things is that I get to read advanced copies of books. I thought that maybe as I read books I'd perhaps post reviews of them.

Do I know exactly how boring I am for my age? Yeah.......that's why I work at B&N. lol Although I do work in the music department so I'm a little hip......

Nah......

Ok the first book I read off of our advanced readers bookcase I actually read as a favor. I had picked it up on my break because I had nothing else to read and Brian mentioned that he had just finished it. He asked me to let him know what I thought of the ending if I decided to finish it myself. Being a good friend...something I should have maybe re-thought.....I said okey-dokey

....no really I said Okey dokey...like I said....I'm wierd...

Anyway the book I read was " The Brief History of the Dead" by Kevin Brockmeier.

I dunno....it sounded like an interesting title.

Remember the old addage..."never judge a book by it's cover?"

We're gonna change that too...."Never judge a book by ANYTHING EXCEPT WHAT'S WRITTEN ON THE PAGES!"

Whew...glad I got that out of my system..... are we all clear on that? Good.

Here's the link http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&isbn=0375423699&itm=3

Don't get me wrong it isn't a bad book. It's a very interesting premise. The dead never truly leave until the last person who remembers them passes on. They live in an earth-like world. They lead normal lives with jobs, relationships, bills but funny enough...not taxes. LOL Yes I did pick upon the fact that they didn't pay taxes. They do not age from when they died and they still can remember the world before they passed away. Although more and more of them are dissapearing without warning. If the book had just been about that it may have been pretty cool.

But of course not...that would be too simple, what kind of conflict would that cause? Silly me....ah duh.....Anyway the book teetoles between this world of the dead and the real, living world. The story of the real world centers around Laura Byrd, who is stuck in the middle of Antartica because her company, Coca Cola, has sent her there to do research for using the melting polar ice caps as an ingrediant for a new coca cola product. The parts in the living world are about her struggling to survive, since she has hardly any supplies or food left, and she cannot contact anyone at all.

Parts of the book are wonderful. It's neat to see people returning to the world of the dead the more the book goes on becuase Laura starts thinking about them and it's interesting to see the parallel between the worlds as hope starts to become a feeling for both sides that there will be an end.

The book does start slow, it needs a few chapters to really get it's engine going but once it starts it head full force. I was really into it, it had caught my attention and held it. You slowly find out hints and clues as to what exactly is wiping out all of these people and what Laura's role in it is. And it's interesting to see the people of the dead world, especially laura's parents, struggling to find answers about their daughter and about themselves. You root for Laura to survive in the middle of Antertica and you find yourself on the edge of your seat throught most of the book.

Now you say to yourself...but.....

yeah...of course there is a but....I'm sitting on it...

Ok...I'll knock off with the lame jokes. lol

The book PLUMMETS, and I do mean plummets in the last chapter or two. It starts a slow decline before that but it really is not noticable because the book is really captivating. This is why the ending is so painful. You invest hard earned reading time into these characters and then......nothing. Nothing is really resolved. And it's not in the good way. You never fully understand Coca-Cola's involvement in the virus wiping everyone out and the reason that's given is extreamly lame....essentially, it's a terrorist act. It would have been better if by chance if had soemthing to do with the ingridiants that they were using in their products and it was known to be harmful and it was used anyway. It has a great big lead up with suspense and then the follow-through just doesn't hold any water. (I won't disreguard the fact that I happened to be drinking a coke while reading this book....something told me in my head that it might not have been a good idea to do so....irony.....)

That can be said about pretty much the whole book, it's one giant lead up and no oomf at the end. It should be no shock to anyone that Laura does indeed die. It's something you know from moment one. But yet you still hold out hope. That shows amazing writing. You know she is going to die but yet you still have a tiny bit of hope. Fantasatic, the man did a good job. But he doesn't have any closer to his book. The book abruptly ends without rhyme or reason. You are never told of what happens to laura's parents and the other people in the world of the dead. You can surmise as to their fate but you never get that satisfying closer that should be felt. The end of the book should not be focused on a minor charcter. At least not the way it was. Brian did have a good point. There was no other way to end it. And he's right, there really wasn't. But....it could have been done MUCH better.

I think that was the worst part of the book, the end was extreamly frustrating and a let-down.

Should you read the book? I'll say the same thing Brian said to me... "Read it, and let me know what you think of the ending"

And when the book comes whizzing past my head in frustration I'll smile in glee. At least now I know my black eye will match Brian's.

What are we going to do tonight Brain?

2006-05-08T21:30:00.000-04:00

Hehe I'm so excited......My friends rock. lol OK that's not what I'm completely excited about but they do. Two of my friends might be getting together. yea!!! hehe it's so cute...I don't care, let them smack me...they are cute. See they're perfect for each other, they both wanna kill me. I think that constitutes a soulmate don't you?

I'm starting to realize though that my friends are wierd....and perhaps I'm a bad influence....even though I'm not really. lol no matter what anyone says. lol

Ryan is just as bad as me.....

You heard me cafe lady. lol We will slowly bring the distruction of the world around us and go live with our man camp in Austraila...just you wait and see.

Oh god.... Ryan's right and i'm just realizing this in writing it..... we shouldn't be allowed to associate with each other. We're evil......although no matter what she says..it's both of us. I think she's more evil than me though. lol that's cause she's all quiet and cute. I'm like Penn to her Teller. The Pinky to her Brain. The R2-D2 to her C3PO (At least I don't have a bad motivator...) I'm the misdirection while she goes and does evil things. lol I won't use the Seigfried to her Roy because that's just .....ewwwwww..

Case in point....and she can't argue this...she made this conoction in the Starbucks cafe. It tastes like a Mounds bar. It has coconut and chocolate and lots and lots of CAFFINE and SUGAR. When I say lots..I mean you might as well just dump 50 million pixiesticks in this thing.

Wait......that would make a rally nasty color combination though...although you can spit in 10 different colors and if you snort them you'll be blowing rainbow snots for days.....

See?!? Caffine and me do not a good combination make. I start talking like this. This is why Ryan is more evil than me....she's sneaky. lol She's all cute and cuddly one minute....but turn your back...and WHAM!.....you're in a caffine hyperdrive and bouncing off the walls. lol

Between that and me and Brian trading stories about flying off roofs and swings (Not to mention that we've both admitted that we talk to ourselves...a LOT)...I'd say I'm surrounded by a really really wierd bunch of friends....Ahhhh...Just the way I like them.....

Life....Is.....Good....

I never noticed just how wierd I am......

2006-05-07T10:41:00.000-04:00

Fun facts about me.......it's ok to be scared....

1. I will never miss the oppurtunity to tell a bad joke or make a lame comment. No seriously.....if a set up is made...I will finish it no matter HOW lame it is...

2. I am OBSESSED with aspics and the 50's. I am the other co-owner of a staggering collection of cookbooks from the 50's and 60's and my obsession with aspics knows no bounds....I mean come on...I made one...

3. I hate feminism. In mostly all forms. The militants have it wrong and the anti-feminists have it wrong and it makes me mad that there is no happy medium. No one does indignant like me.

4. I LOVE bad movies. I must have the worst list of favorite movies. An example you ask? Super Mario Brothers. nuff' said.

5. I apologize for EVERYTHING, even if it's not my fault. Sorry is a second language to me.

6. My two biggest celebrity crushes are Seth Rogan and Alan Tudyk...which is always followed by "Who the fuck are they?"

*Extras*

- I love STYX.....I know...bad bad me...but I do.

- I may be the ONLY person alive that finds a Canadian accents sexy

- I KILL TV shows

- I can name any episode of Whose line JUST by the first 5 seconds of the show. You show me the lineup, I can tell you what episode it is.

Havin a bad night.....

2006-05-05T02:13:00.000-04:00

So a friend at work was having a bad night. I asked her if she wanted to go out and vent. She says sure..I oblige....bad mistake....

I'm not stupid, I was a psych major for 4 years, got my degree in it, I know that people don't see what they're really like sometimes. I'd be stupid to think I wasn't the same way.

We start out and she's venting. I won't go into detail what she's venting about, it's not appropriate but then she started getting into talking about how maybe I'm a little too flirty.

Why this conversation turned to me..I have NO idea.... She just started on me.

Ok I'm a flirty person. I always have been. I don't do it on purpose, I'm just a fun-loving person. I'm goofy and I know that I'm loud and touchy feely but I never thought I ever crossed the line and became annoying. But apparently I may be too pushy, too loud and just a little too bawdy. Not that it's a bad thing.... (Geez she sound Italian)

Yeah...not that it's a bad thing.....I am (and I quote) "A strong assertive somewhat pushy overbearing woman" Those word are like poison to me. I always wanted to be kinda fun and dorky but I never wanted to be one of those people who other people are like "oh god here she comes pretend to like her" when they see her. I always thought I was not one of those people. I would think that people honestly like being around me cause I'm fun and a little flirty but I always know when to back off. Maybe she was just projecting herself onto me (she's also very overbearing and so on) but maybe I'm wrong, maybe I never saw myself as I truly am.

Could it be that she might be jealous cause some of the guys at work have mentioned an interest in me and yet I'm very happily engaged? I doubt it, she may have a lot of issues when it comes to sex and relationships but I'm definately not jealous worthy. There is no other choice that to think that maybe I really am that way and never noticed.

She felt better when we parted ways...I felt much worse. But I guess that's what friends are for.

Reading about Jason Mraz farting in a plane made me feel a little better I will say, mostly cause I could relate. 747.....8 hour flight to italy......I had milk before boarding......all makes for a very interesting flight..........

In-store plays....more like In-store porn.....

2006-05-04T01:16:00.000-04:00

If any of you guys have ever been in a Barnes and Noble, you might notice that some of the bigger stores have dvd's playing in the music department. These are called In-store plays (Yeah I know no shit...captain obvious)

Anyway every month that dvd changes to something else. It's usually not a movie it's usually a music dvd or some instructional video. It is also ALWAYS silent. It's on mute. Last month it was Andre Reiu the Flying Dutchman.

Ok....I loved that dvd. It was nice and if you knew the piece of classical music playing it wasn't so bad cause you knew why the people were dancing around. Granted there was a little midget kid who creeped everyone out but still...not bad. All anyone kept saying was that they couldn't wait for the dvd for May.....

I hate being a Cassandra-type figure....I hate no one listening to me and I ultimately being right.....

Everyone complained....everyone balked at me when I said that the next dvd could be worse...........

Take this Andre Reiu!

Yes!......Mwahahahahahahahahah........Pretentious fitness video!!

It's so creepy that I can't even find screenshots of it online.

It's worse with no sound because it just seems like they are dancing without rhyme or reason. In front of nebulous grey screen. You know the ones...they're usually the ones they use as the background for graduation pictures....yeah....and there is no defined floor since it's the same color as the imaginary wall that we're supposed to assume is there so they are just floating bodies in a grey world....a very GAY grey world.

It's like a cross between super gay and an instructional video for new and interesting sexual positions.....and it's all BAD.

It's something to be said when your boss comes in to talk to you and he looks up and goes (Out loud mind you..) "Holy shit what the hell is THAT?!?"

Guys...you don't have it so bad...the girls are kind of cute...they do vaguly sexual positions...nubile and in a tight sports bra and bicycle shorts.....not to bad......

Girls....scary.......short....SHORT....black tight bicycle shorts...and no shirt mind you...no shirt...and not in the good...oh he's hot i don't mind looking at this guy with no shirt...but more like....oh this is so gay........and creepy cause they have no shirt on...why do they have no shirt on? Is there a reason they have no shirt on? and why do they feel the need to wear such short lycra bicycle shorts? Is this practicle? Are you trying to tell me that this is how ballerina's practice?.....oh you trickster dvd.....you.....trickster.......

They really don't even do ballerina moves...they do stretching and.....jigs..no seriously...they do a jig. and it's BAD. Mostly they do vaguley sexual positions and they are very nubile. Which wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't so pretentious...and .....you know...it wasn't at a Barnes and Noble.... we have little kids in the store ya know....

Plus like Ryan said....who the hell wants to watch this....custimers are gonna be like..."Oh yeah!!...just what I wanted to see......a....fit..ness...video.............huh"

Doesn't help that some creepy older guy came in and was like oogling the dvd....ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I'd take the creepy midget anyday.

So...dirty....

2006-05-03T01:54:00.000-04:00

I feel so dirty...so dirty.......

I am officially a bad influence.....

It isn't cheating if it's with a Hologram...

2006-05-02T16:01:00.000-04:00

You know...sometimes I wish I was still a psych major. Not for a living I will admit but sometimes I wish I could write psych paper on subjects that interest me.

Like Jem.

Ok laugh it up..I'll wait.....

Are we done? Ok

But seriously, there are HUGE ethical flaws to this show. It's fascinating that we never picked up on this as kids. For those of you with penises who didn't watch Jem (Mostly cause you had penises and watched He-Man...oh no...Jem was SO girly compared to He-man...)

I can't explain the plot so I looked it up on Wikipedia.....here's the plot (man and people thought the plot of Mission Impossible was convoluted..)

"The central "secret" of the series is that Jem is in fact the alter ego of Jerrica Benton, owner/manager of Starlight Music, who adopts this persona with the help of Synergy, an extremely sophisticated holographic computer designed by her father and left to her after his death. (Ok problem #1...how horrible is a cartoon to make the parents DEAD...and if that didn't screw us kids up there's more)The other Holograms are Kimber Benton, Jerrica's younger sister, keyboardist and main songwriter for the band; Aja Leith, guitarist; and Shana Elmsford, who plays the synth drums. Aja and Shana are also childhood friends and adopted foster sisters of Jerrica and Kimber. Shana briefly leaves the group in a two-part episode, and a new character, Carmen "Raya" Alonso, is introduced as her replacement. When Shana returns, Raya remains the Holograms' drummer, while Shana takes up the guitar.Only the Holograms are aware of Jem's secret identity (although Jem revealed it to the President of the United States in the episode "The Presidential Affair"), and a small Chinese girl named Lin who discovered the secret in "Adventures in China." Episodes of the series frequently revolve around Jerrica's efforts to keep the two identities separate. This often causes conflict with her boyfriend, Rio, who is attracted to both Jerrica and Jem while not realizing that they are actually the same person. (problem #2....WTF?!?)Jerrica's other main concern is Starlight House, a home for foster girls run by the Holograms. The original location was Jerrica's childhood home until it was burned by a henchman of Eric Raymond. Later Jem and the Holograms won possession of the New Starlight Mansion during a battle of the bands. The Holograms' main purpose is in fact to fund the Starlight Foundation and support the Starlight Girls. The mansion, as well as a lucrative recording contract was offered by movie producer Howard Sands, who becomes one of the group's biggest supporters. Other friends of the Holograms included Countess Danielle DuVoisin, a renowned fashion designer, Anthony Julian, a music producer who is romantically involved with Shana, charity worker and choreographer Danse(Giselle Dvorak), and Craig Phillips, who entered the contest for the Holograms new drummer and is the older brother of the Misfit Stormer. He has an ongoing relationship with Aja.The Holograms' rival band are the Misfits: spoiled rich girl Pizzazz (Phyllis Gabor) and her cohorts: no-nonsense and streetwise Roxy (Roxanne Pelligrini) and kind-hearted and sensitive Stormer (Mary Phillips), who are later joined by British saxophone player and scam artist, Jetta (Sheila Burns). (This group should not to be confused with the real-life band The Misfits, led by Glenn Danzig.) Most episodes of the series involve a plot by the Misfits to sabotage and/or upstage Jem and the Holograms' latest glamorous escapade. This rivalry is encouraged and manipulated by their manager, the ruthless Eric Raymond, who was the business partner of Jerrica's father. Eric ran Starlight Music after Jerrica's father's death until Eric had a falling out with Jerrica. Eric stakes his claim on the record company against Jerrica's claim, thus starting the rivalry between the Holograms and the Misfits. Although in the final episode of the series, both groups seemed to have declared a truce between them.The final season of the show introduced a new set of antagonists, a new band called the Stingers, consisting of: Riot (Rory Llewelen), Rapture (Phoebe Ashe), and Minx (Ingrid Krueger). Riot also added romantic drama to the show, as he was obsessed with Jem. Pizzazz, in turn, was obsessed with Riot, and Rio was pursued by Minx. (So it's all one big orgy apparently) Dolls of the Stingers were planned, but not manufactured.Other characters important enough to have related dolls were filmmaker Video (Vivian Montgomery), her cousin and obsessive Misfits fan Clash (Constance Montgomery), choreographer and Danse, and three of the most prominent Starlight Girls: Ashley, Ba Nee, and Krissy." (Thank you Wikipedia!)

Ok.....there are a lot more problems with this show than I remembered but here's my one main question.....Is Rio really cheating? I mean techinically no...he's still dating the same person. As kids we didn't see this dilemma, we knew Jem and Jerrica were one and the same but I don't think we realized that Rio didn't know that.......

Ok wait wait...I have a headache......

Whew ok where was I?

See this would make a great psych paper. You couldn't argue the fact that Jem has Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality disorder...I just feel the need to use some of the fancy words I learned so as to not make my degree go to a complete waste) because she knows she's two different people and she can control when she changes. And you should be able to say that Rio is at fault because he's dating two people that he doesn't know are the same person (Man this is confusing) but on the same token Jem sort of makes him. lol When they first meet she chases after him and fawns all over him and if I'm not mistaken she makes out with him first...god this is like rape. Hey if I were Rio I'd take the bait. As kids we don't see this problem but man this is some fucked up shit right here. lol

So techincally Jerrica is getting jealous over...herself...huh? I repeat....WTF!?!

I swear this would make the greatest paper in Psych history. lol I'm starting to realize why this generation is all fucked up...we've all watched Jem.It brings a whole new meaning to Jem...Jem is adventure. Jem...Jem is excitement.

Here's where the problem started, the video for "Who is he kissing?" You try to figure it out....he's kissing the same person. (Unless he's as gay as he sounds then we got a whole new problem on our hands)

Pardon for the poor quality.

This is the ultimate showdown.........

2006-05-02T14:50:00.000-04:00

Weeeeeee.....First blog for the site.

What can I say, myspace just isn't enough. LOL Actually more than anything I think I just need my own little blogging space in the world. And I didn't know this site existed.

In good news...classes are finished....FINALLY. I don't know if I could have taken any more classes. My paper is finished....all 15 pages of it and I am one happy girl. Especially because I finally get "God of War".

Is it sad that that's been my only motivation for finishing this paper by today?

Ok ok ok. I'm super duper excited that I'm done. So much so that at 11 am this morning I did a little jig to celebrate. Man...no wonder the people at Barnes and Noble are scared of me.

Speaking of work....I serenaded Adrian Sunday with "The Ultimate Showdown" while Chris shouted obscentities as he was hunched over the fax machine. Ahhh it was almost like a Felini Film........ except maybe without the pretentiousness.

I can't wait to go out to T.G.I friday's again. We had a blast saturday night watching drunk frat guys throw up. And skanky girlfriend....can't forget skanky girlfriend. I swear it was like a spectators sport. I've never met a group of people as wierd as me....

Wait....is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Ahhhhh......well I'm off to enojoy the day and play some kingdom of loathing....being that I am a level 2 disco bandit and therefore that makes me a Rhythm Rouge. DANCE BATTLE!

Keep it funky.....and not Fucky as I just mispelled.....